Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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I have an old miners helmet with a torch on the front.

I never wear it because it makes me lightheaded...

cat that stutters
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The sheriff enters the bar "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jack?" he asks.
"What does he look like?"
"He wears a brown paper suit, with a brown paper hat, shirt, tie, socks and shoes."
"What's he wanted for sheriff?"

"Rustling."

Originally Posted by johnboy

The sheriff enters the bar "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jack?" he asks.
"What does he look like?"
"He wears a brown paper suit, with a brown paper hat, shirt, tie, socks and shoes."
"What's he wanted for sheriff?"

"Rustling."

.....a slap.jpg.....

OUCH JB..... paper thin that one!

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and school teacher.
The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers and voted for Trump.

That was almost good.

From that resume I'd say she voted for Biden

Yesterday afternoon......
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birdpoo.jpg

you know..?? if you close 1 eye and squint the other.. it looks like a tranny! no matter where you live!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... thanks for the smile!

What do you call a bookworm who can't stop reading about strong female characters?

A heroine addict.

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 6:30 after work.
His wife screams at him while his friend sits and listens in.
“My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I am still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?”
Calmly the husband replies, “Because he’s thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo.”

An old farmer drove to a neighbor's and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.
The farmer asked, "Is your Dad home?"
The boy replied, "No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
The farmer said, "Well, is your Mother here?"
The boy said, "No sir, she went to town with Dad."
The farmer said, "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
The boy said, "No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
The boy said, "Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."
The boy thought for a moment, "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

An oldy but a goody...