Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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A travel agent was sitting at his desk when he noticed an elderly couple standing outside, gazing longingly at the posters of dream vacations in the shop window.
They looked sweet, and honestly, a little heartbroken. The agent had just had a great week in business, so he felt a wave of kindness wash over him.
He rushed outside, brought them in, and said, “Listen, I know travel isn’t easy on a pension, but I want to treat you both to a luxury vacation—my treat. No strings attached. Just say yes.”
Shocked but thrilled, the couple accepted. The agent had his assistant book two plane tickets and a room at a beautiful five-star resort.

About a month later, the little old lady came back into the shop, smiling.
“How was the trip?” the agent asked.
“Oh, it was just lovely! The flight was wonderful, and the hotel was like something out of a dream,” she said. “I came to say thank you… but I do have one question.”
The agent raised an eyebrow. “Sure, what is it?”
She leaned in and whispered, “Who was that old man I had to share the room with?”
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Borrowed from a FB post...
Bubba loved to hunt, and every Friday after work he would fire up his grill and stoke up his smoker for the weekend and cook venison steaks, roasts and an occasional brisket. Now Bubba lived in a Catholic neighborhood, and this was in the time when Catholics didn't eat meat on Fridays, and the aroma of Bubba's grill wafting through the neighborhood was agonizing, so the neighbors visited the Parish Priest to seek a solution. The Priest decided that if Bubba simply became a Catholic the problem would be solved so he went to visit. Surprisingly Bubba agreed, deciding that attending worship with his neighbors would be a good thing, and the Priest put together a crash course in conversion, and Bubba attended his first Mass where the Priest called him forward, and while sprinkling Holy Water on his head, declared "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, but you are now and forevermore a Catholic."
The next Friday the aroma of venison on the grill again wafted through the neighborhood, and the Priest's phone was ringing off the hook with complaints. He rushed to Bubba's house, but stopped dead in his tracks when he rounded the corner into the back yard and found Bubba with a small vial of Holy Water in hand, sprinkling it over the browning meat saying, "You was born a deer, you was raised a deer, but I declare that you is now a CATFISH!" Bubba went back to being Baptist.