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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3061
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Just think about this.
    If Trump wins the election it'll be the first time in history that a billionaire moved into public housing vacated by a black family!
    Rrumbler, johnboy, lamin8r and 3 others like this.

  2. #3062
    fitzwilly's Avatar
    fitzwilly is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Dr. Geezer

    An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.
    He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not
    cured, I'll pay you $1,000."

    Doctor "Young", who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine,
    thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

    Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you help me ??"

    Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

    Dr. Young: Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations, you've got your taste back. That will be $500."

    Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

    Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

    Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

    Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"

    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back . That will be $500."

    Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

    Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!"

    Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so," Here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill)

    Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"

    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your eyesight back! That will be $500."

    Moral of the story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can
    outsmart an "old Geezer"

    Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place,
    so it doesn't take much to tick us off.

  3. #3063
    lamin8r's Avatar
    lamin8r is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Well,now,fitzwilly..That has to be the joke of the month.. Awesome..
    Rrumbler likes this.
    Micah 6:8

    If we aren't supposed to have midnight snacks,,,WHY is there a light in the refrigerator???

    Robin.

  4. #3064
    Kiwidreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lamin8r View Post
    Well,now,fitzwilly..That has to be the joke of the month.. Awesome..
    Ah, is that because you are classed in the old geezer camp Robin :-)
    lamin8r likes this.

  5. #3065
    lamin8r's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwidreamer View Post
    Ah, is that because you are classed in the old geezer camp Robin :-)
    And proud of it sonny.. Remember,,I can retire in two years and three months,if I desire.. and play with my toys... hehe

    Incidentally,,are ya working this weekend?? Coming up..
    40FordDeluxe likes this.
    Micah 6:8

    If we aren't supposed to have midnight snacks,,,WHY is there a light in the refrigerator???

    Robin.

  6. #3066
    fitzwilly's Avatar
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    .. BAGPIPE FUNERAL

    Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow
    that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to
    play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so
    the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the back country.
    As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical
    man, I didn't stop for directions.
    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone
    and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and
    crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the
    men for being late.

    I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was
    already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played
    out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like
    I've never played before for this homeless man.
    And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I
    wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and
    started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.

    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never
    seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for
    twenty years."

    Apparently, I'm still lost....it's a man thing.

  7. #3067
    Rrumbler is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    In honor of the day coming Thursday.

    ________________________________________________________

    : Mayonnaise historical fact
    >
    > Did you know that back in
    >
    > 1912, Hellmann's Mayonnaise was
    > manufactured in England. In fact,
    > the Titanic was carrying 12,000
    > jars of the condiment scheduled
    > for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,
    > which was to be the next port of call
    > for the great ship after its stop in
    > New York . This would have been
    > the largest single shipment of
    > mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico
    > ... But as we know, the great ship
    > did not make it to New York. The
    > ship hit an iceberg and sank. The
    > people of Mexico, who were crazy
    > about mayonnaise, and were eagerly
    > awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate
    > at the loss. Their anguish was so
    > great, that they declared a National
    > Day of Mourning.
    > The National Day of Mourning occurs
    > each year on May 5 and is known,
    > of course, as - Sinko De Mayo.
    >
    > WHAT??? You expected something educational from me?
    > You need a shot of Tequila

    .
    Rrumbler, Aka: Hey you, "Old School", Hairy, and other unsavory monickers.

    Twistin' and bangin' on stuff for about sixty or so years; beat up and busted, but not entirely dead - yet.

  8. #3068
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    'Twas a sad day when that ship went down with all of that Mayo....
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  9. #3069
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    Sad indeed!
    " "No matter where you go, there you are!" Steve.

  10. #3070
    Jack F's Avatar
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    My preference is Miracle Whip.


    Jack.
    Rrumbler and 34_40 like this.
    www.clubhotrod.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44081

  11. #3071
    stovens's Avatar
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    Sinko de Miracle?
    Rrumbler and Jack F like this.
    " "No matter where you go, there you are!" Steve.

  12. #3072
    Rrumbler is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    My former D-I-L would prefer to be dis-mayoed, she does like her Miracle Whip, though.
    stovens likes this.
    Rrumbler, Aka: Hey you, "Old School", Hairy, and other unsavory monickers.

    Twistin' and bangin' on stuff for about sixty or so years; beat up and busted, but not entirely dead - yet.

  13. #3073
    glennsexton's Avatar
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    So I was talking with this self-absorbed world traveler. When she finished bragging about all the places she had visited she asked me, "Have YOU ever been abroad? " "No," I replied, "I've always been a guy."
    TOW'D, Rrumbler, DennyW and 3 others like this.
    "Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty." John Basil Barnhil

  14. #3074
    Milner is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Hot Rod Cat.

     



    Thought this one was kind of cute.



    cat1.jpg
    NTFDAY, Rrumbler, DennyW and 5 others like this.

  15. #3075
    fitzwilly's Avatar
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    An elderly couple return to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the
    car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde.

    "I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price," said
    the man. "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady there.
    You insisted there could be no discount on this model."

    "Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash, and just look at her, how could I resist?"
    replied the grinning salesman.

    Just then the young woman approached the older couple and handed them the keys.

    "There you go," she said. "I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later, Grandpa."
    NTFDAY, Rrumbler, DennyW and 5 others like this.

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