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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3106
    Kiwidreamer's Avatar
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    Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

    I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

    After a night of drink, drugs and wild love, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

    Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."

    My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

    Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

    I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

    After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.

    Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think.

    Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes. I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.

    Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

    A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ... Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.

    Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots....Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.

    IT’S A BOY!" he shouted. "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT’S A BOY!" And with tears streaming down his face he swore he’d never visit another Thai Brothel!

    Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both in hospital..one's in a korma... the other's got a dodgy tikka!

    In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.

    Sailing results are in... GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth.

    An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan ! He is making land mines that look like prayer mats! It’s doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
    Rrumbler, stovens, Jack F and 3 others like this.

  2. #3107
    Kiwidreamer's Avatar
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    A Retired Person's Perspective:

    1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.


    2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.


    3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they're holding a gun, she's probably pissed off.


    4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.


    5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.


    6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.


    7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.


    8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.


    9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?


    10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.
    Rrumbler, stovens, Jack F and 2 others like this.

  3. #3108
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    An old lady went into a bar in Ibiza and saw a man with his feet propped upon a table.

    He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.

    The old woman asked the man if it's true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed.

    The man grinned and said, 'Sure is, little lady. Why don't you come to my apartment and let me prove it to you?'

    The old woman considered she might never get an offer like this again and was curious to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.

    The next morning she handed him a £50 note.

    Blushing, he said, 'Well, thank you, I'm really flattered. Nobody has ever paid me for my 'services' before!'



    'Don't be flattered' she replied...



    'Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit...'



    Women can be so cruel !!
    Rrumbler, stovens and 40FordDeluxe like this.

  4. #3109
    RestoRod's Avatar
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    THIS IS US!!!


    Some senior citizens are being criticized for the present deficiencies of our modern world; real or imaginary, present or past, foreign or domestic.
    We take responsibility for all our actions and omissions; we do not try to blame others for our past imperfections, ignorance or failures.
    Our generation saved the World from Fascism, Communism, and Racism, while we raised the Standard of Living, Health Care, and Life Expectancy.
    HOWEVER, upon reflection , we would like to point out that it was NOT senior citizens who took:
    The melody out of music,
    The pride out of appearance,
    The courtesy out of driving,
    The romance out of love,
    The commitment out of marriage,
    The responsibility out of parenthood,
    The togetherness out of the family,
    The learning out of education,
    The service out of patriotism,
    The Golden Rule from rulers,
    The civility out of behavior,
    The refinement out of language,
    The dedication out of employment,
    The prudence out of spending,
    And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships, and interactions with others on a face to face basis!!
    And, we DO understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.
    YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN !
    I'm the life of the party . . . even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
    I'm very good at opening childproof caps . . .
    With a hammer.
    I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
    I'm smiling all the time, because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
    I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
    I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg; but I haven't made my skin look like wall paper or snake skin.
    My ears, nose, tongue, or naval haven't been pieced with metal rings.
    I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

    Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN, and I think I am having the time of my life!

    Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them.

    Or, maybe I should send it to all my friends anyway.
    They won't remember, even if they did send it.

    Spread the laughter
    Share the cheer
    Let's be happy
    While we're here.
    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  5. #3110
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    A POEM TO WHICH WE CAN RELATE:

    I remember the corned beef of my childhood,

    And the bread that we cut with a knife,

    When the Children helped with the housework,

    And the men went to work not the wife.

    The cheese never needed a fridge,

    And the bread was so crusty and hot,

    The Children were seldom unhappy,

    And the Wife was content with her lot.


    I remember the milk from the bottle,

    With the yummy cream on the top,

    Our dinner came hot from the oven,
    And not from a freezer; or shop.

    The kids were a lot more contented,

    They didn't need money for kicks,

    Just a game with their friends in the road,

    And sometimes the Saturday flicks.



    I remember the shop on the corner,

    Where biscuits for pennies were sold

    Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic?

    Or is it....I'm just getting Old?

    Bathing was done in a wash tub,

    With plenty of rich foamy suds
    But the ironing seemed never ending

    As Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'.



    I remember the slap on my backside,

    And the taste of soap if I swore

    Anorexia and diets weren't heard of

    And we hadn't much choice what we wore.



    Do you think that bruised our ego?

    Or our initiative was destroyed?

    We ate what was put on the table

    And I think life was better enjoyed.

  6. #3111
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    Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”

    The second nun answered, “Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.”

    “I can handle that without a problem,” the other nun replied as she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out.

    The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. “We use beer for washing our hair,” the nun said. “Back at our nunnery we call it Catholic Shampoo.”

    Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said, “The curlers are on the house.”
    Rrumbler, CR55 and 40FordDeluxe like this.
    "Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty." John Basil Barnhil

  7. #3112
    RestoRod's Avatar
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    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and
    an even worse vocabulary.
    Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
    and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
    Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
    The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.
    John, in desperation, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a
    few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
    Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
    Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
    The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have
    offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate
    transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
    behaviour."
    John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had
    made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly,

    "May I ask what the turkey did?"
    Rrumbler, 34_40, Jack F and 2 others like this.
    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  8. #3113
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    Jokes for the day

     



    MONDAY

    The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex...
    Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
    The doctor told her that teenagers today were very wilful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
    Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
    The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,
    'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'

    TUESDAY

    A man went to church one day and afterwards he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'
    The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'
    The man continued, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'

    The preacher said, 'No shit?'

    WEDNESDAY

    Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
    With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
    After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
    The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
    'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'

    'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

    THURSDAY

    One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defence.
    'Your Honour,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'

    FRIDAY

    A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
    After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'

    SATURDAY

    Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
    Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

    SUNDAY

    Groups of Americans were travelling by tour bus through Holland .. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'
    A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!
    Rrumbler, 34_40, stovens and 2 others like this.
    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  9. #3114
    RestoRod's Avatar
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    Puns for Educated Minds

     



    1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

    15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    17. A backward poet writes inverse..

    18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

    21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

    22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

    23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too

    24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

    25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

    26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
    Rrumbler, 34_40, stovens and 1 others like this.
    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  10. #3115
    RestoRod's Avatar
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    Adult Truths

     



    1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die

    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again for the fourth time.

    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    16. I disagree with Peoples Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

    17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

    23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone or Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

    24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
    JL350, Rrumbler, stovens and 2 others like this.
    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  11. #3116
    RestoRod's Avatar
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    You've got to love the Irish

     



    Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to
    Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

    Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

    Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

    **********

    Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets:
    'Do you want to go to heaven?'

    The man said, 'I do, Father.'

    The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

    Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

    'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.

    'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

    Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

    O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

    The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

    O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'

    *******

    Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

    'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'

    'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'

    ******

    An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

    He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

    'Just water,' says the priest.

    The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

    The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'


    ******

    Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

    He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

    Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

    He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

    In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

    She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

    Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

    'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.'
    TOW'D, 34_40 and lamin8r like this.
    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  12. #3117
    Kiwidreamer's Avatar
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    Rye Bread


    Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.

    The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
    The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy

    The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

    So, on the way home the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
    He said "Do you have any Rye bread?"
    She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said, "I want 5 loaves."
    She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard"


    He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me."
    lamin8r and 40FordDeluxe like this.

  13. #3118
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    The ears have it:

    A young man moved into a new flat of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

    While there, an attractive young lady came out of the flat next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.

    As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

    After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming

    He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him,
    "What would you say is my best feature?"

    Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."

    Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere.
    How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

    Clearing his throat, he stammered...

    "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming.... that was me."
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  14. #3119
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    Homework Assignment


    The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.

    She was reluctant to call on little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
    Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
    Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

    "It's a period," reported Johnnie.

    "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."

    "Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."
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  15. #3120
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    Ed and Ted were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory when Ed glanced over and noticed that Ted's penis was twisted like a corkscrew. "Blimey," Ed said. "I've never seen one like that before!" "Like what?" Ted said. "All twisted like a pig's tail" Ed said. "Well what's yours like?" Ted said. "Well straight like normal" Ed said. "I thought mine was normal `til I saw yours" Ted said.
    Ed finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shake down prior to putting it back in his pants. "What did you do that for?" Ted said. "Shaking off the excess drops" Ed said.
    "Like normal." "Shit" Ted said. "And all these years I've been wringing it!"
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