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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3286
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    After almost 50 years of marriage my wife thinks I'm still sexy
    as I walked past her I heard her say what a ass
    34_40, t-top havoc and 36 sedan like this.

  2. #3287
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by TOW'D View Post
    After almost 50 years of marriage my wife thinks I'm still sexy
    as I walked past her I heard her say what a ass
    That reminds me of the rhetorical question: Why did the peasant call his donkey Delores?


    Because delores an ass...


    (Yeah yeah, I know, it's even worse than your one Hank! Don't ban me...)
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  3. #3288
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnboy View Post
    Because delores an ass...
    Can you translate, jb? That one sailed right over my head!
    36 sedan likes this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  4. #3289
    36 sedan's Avatar
    36 sedan is online now CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    I'm with you, maybe it's a New Sail Land thing, lol...
    johnboy likes this.

  5. #3290
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Sorry I confused you Americans.

    Break the name down into its syllables: do lor es.

    Or phonetically: da law is...an ass.

    It's a quote from some famous fella who lived long before even I was born; but I can't remember now who he was.
    TOW'D likes this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  6. #3291
    NTFDAY's Avatar
    NTFDAY is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    After spending a couple of evenings in 64 with a group of Aussie Marines in Subic Bay I thought I had that figured out and I did. Good one JB.
    johnboy likes this.
    Ken Thomas
    NoT FaDe AwaY and the music didn't die
    The simplest road is usually the last one sought
    Wild Willie & AA/FA's The greatest show in drag racing

  7. #3292
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnboy View Post
    Sorry I confused you Americans.

    Break the name down into its syllables: do lor es.

    Or phonetically: da law is...an ass.

    It's a quote from some famous fella who lived long before even I was born; but I can't remember now who he was.
    Oliver Twist, 1838. When Mr. Bumble, the unhappy spouse of a domineering wife, is told in court that "...the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction", replies:

    "If the law supposes that," said Mr. Bumble, squeezing his hat emphatically in both hands, "the law is a ass - a idiot".
    NTFDAY and 36 sedan like this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  8. #3293
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Charles Dickens.
    I should've guessed that. It even sounds Dickensian.
    He was an extremely clever bloke who could come out with memorable phrases, that being just one of them.
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  9. #3294
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    I've been lying back admiring my ceiling.
    It may not be the best ceiling in the world; but it's up there.

    (Is this one over your head? A ceiling that is...)

    (Sorry. Just couldn't resist that.)
    Last edited by johnboy; 09-29-2020 at 08:02 PM.
    NTFDAY likes this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  10. #3295
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnboy View Post
    I've been lying back admiring my ceiling.
    It may not be the best ceiling in the world; but it's up there.

    (Is this one over your head? A ceiling that is...)

    (Sorry. Just couldn't resist that.)
    The ceiling? Of course it's over my head! That's why in the Navy it's called "The Overhead"!
    NTFDAY and johnboy like this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  11. #3296
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    A group of 15 year old boys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at the McDonald's next to Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they only had six dollars among them, they could ride their bikes there and Jennie Webster, that cute girl in Social Studies, lives on the same street and they might see her.


    Ten years later, the group of now 25 year old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the beer was cheap, the bar had free snacks, the house band was good, there was no cover charge and there were lot of cute girls.

    Ten years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was decided they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the booze was good, it was near their gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.

    Ten years later, at 45, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the martinis were big and the waitresses wore tight pants.

    Ten years later, now 55, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the prices were reasonable, they have a nice wine list and fish is good for your cholesterol.

    Ten years later, at 65 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the lighting was good and they have an early bird special.

    Ten years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped accessible.

    Ten years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they had never been there before.

  12. #3297
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Ouch!
    Crikey Hank; that strikes a chord.

    'There's many a true word spoken in jest.'
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

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