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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3331
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar: "What'll you have?"
    The guy replies: "A scotch please."
    The bartender hands him his drink and says: " That'll be $7," to which the guy replies: "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything."
    A lawyer, sitting nearby says: "He's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."
    The bartender, not impressed, says to the guy: "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't you ever let me catch you in here again."

    The next day, the same guy walks in to the bar. The bartender says: "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"
    The guy says: "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!"
    The bartender replies: "Crikey! This is uncanny. You must have a double."
    To which the guy replies: "Thank-you. Make it a scotch."
    Rrumbler, 34_40, stovens and 1 others like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  2. #3332
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    Don't meddle with us old fellas!

     



    A few years back I used to sub-contract over the winter months welding up new cowsheds being built by local builders.
    I was strong enough in those days to be able to pick up my welder from the back of the Falcon and carry it to wherever I needed it on-site.
    One particular builder had an obnoxious twenty/twenty-five year old working for him who delighted in baiting me, and how he was my physical superior after he'd seen me do this four or five times.
    He just kept at it, asking if I needed help stirring sugar into my coffee, or even needing a helping hand to drink it, all the time calling me 'Pops' or 'Old Fella' and it did rather start to get up my nose and irritate.
    One morning smoko (a Kiwi term for morning/afternoon tea,) I'd had enough, so said: "Okay smartarse, I'll wager one hundred bucks I can barrow a pile of shit over to that end of the yard that you won't be able to barrow back."
    "You're on!" he replied.
    So I went and got a barrow, wheeled it back to the smoko caravan, put it down, turned around to him and said: "Hop in."

    (That's a true story. Would I ever tell lies to you?)

    34_40, 40FordDeluxe and Driver50x like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  3. #3333
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
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    My last Harley ride...

     



    While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a kangaroo, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
    Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
    As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with cleavage to die for...
    "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
    She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
    "That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
    "Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
    Well, she was pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
    We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
    "Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"


    "Still in the ditch with the Harley, I guess."
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  4. #3334
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    OOOOOOOOOOoooooo JB. Did you tell Rosie that one??? LOL..
    40FordDeluxe likes this.

  5. #3335
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34_40 View Post
    OOOOOOOOOOoooooo JB. Did you tell Rosie that one??? LOL..
    I wouldn't dare!

    (I'm a devout coward!)
    34_40 and 40FordDeluxe like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

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