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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3376
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Feb 2004
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    Bella Coola
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
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    651

    BIOLOGY EXAM:

    This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.

    The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

    However, he wrote:

    1) It is perfect formula for the child.
    2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
    3) It is always the right temperature.
    4) It is inexpensive.
    5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
    6) It is always available as needed.

    And then the student was stuck.

    Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

    7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.

    He got an A+.

  2. #3377
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Feb 2004
    Location
    Bella Coola
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
    Posts
    651

    1 - I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
    2 - I consider "On Trend" to be the clothes that still fit.
    3 - I don't need anger management. People need to stop pissing me off.
    4 - My people skills are just fine. My tolerance for idiots needs work.
    5 - The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down. I’ll remember it."
    6 - I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
    7 - These days, "on time" is when I get there.
    8 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
    9 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
    10 - Lately, I've noticed people my age are so much older than I am.

  3. #3378
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Bella Coola
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
    Posts
    651

    Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
    The 87-year-old said "Well, I eat a lot of rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies".

    So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any rye bread?"

    She said "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said "I want five loaves".

    The sales lady said "My goodness... five loaves? By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard".
    The 80-year old man replied "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me".
    johnboy, JeffB2, 34_40 and 1 others like this.

  4. #3379
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    May 2005
    Location
    Tataraimaka NZ
    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    Crikey!
    Thanks for the tip Hank!
    I'm gonna have to get me some rye bread!

    TOW'D, 34_40 and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man.
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

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