Welcome to Club Hot Rod!  The premier site for everything to do with Hot Rod, Customs, Low Riders, Rat Rods, and more. 

  •  » Members from all over the US and the world!
  •  » Help from all over the world for your questions
  •  » Build logs for you and all members
  •  » Blogs
  •  » Image Gallery
  •  » Many thousands of members and hundreds of thousands of posts! 

YES! I want to register an account for free right now!  p.s.: For registered members this ad will NOT show

 
Like Tree3624Likes

Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

Reply To Thread
Page 114 of 241 FirstFirst ... 14 64 104 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 124 164 214 ... LastLast
Results 1,696 to 1,710 of 3606
  1. #1696
    RestoRod's Avatar
    RestoRod is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    In the Boonies of Ontario
    Car Year, Make, Model: 40 Graham Sharknose :58 MGA/Ford V6
    Posts
    1,307

    As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person.








    I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'? Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, single malt scotch, and martinis into urine.



    Harold should be an inspiration to all of us.
    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  2. #1697
    fitzwilly's Avatar
    fitzwilly is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    FLUSHING, MICHIGAN
    Car Year, Make, Model: 59 FORD FAIRLANE 500 GALAXIE
    Posts
    207

    Glass eye

     



    A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

    Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man.
    He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

    "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you."

    They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

    After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

    The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.
    The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!

    "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

    "No," she replied, "You just happened to catch my eye."

  3. #1698
    glennsexton's Avatar
    glennsexton is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tigard
    Car Year, Make, Model: 63 Nova SS
    Posts
    2,498

    I didn't see that one coming.....
    "Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty." John Basil Barnhil

  4. #1699
    CR55's Avatar
    CR55 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    N. Il
    Car Year, Make, Model: 37 Chevy. 48 and 60 Harleys
    Posts
    229

    Fitzwilly, you ain't right!!!...CR
    I thought I knew a lot, until I had teenagers!

  5. #1700
    RestoRod's Avatar
    RestoRod is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    In the Boonies of Ontario
    Car Year, Make, Model: 40 Graham Sharknose :58 MGA/Ford V6
    Posts
    1,307

    Is Sex Work ???

     



    An Army N.C.O. was about to start the morning-briefing to all
    of his staff. While waiting for the coffee-machine to finish its
    brewing, the N.C.O. decided to pose a question to all assembled. He
    explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before, and
    therefore he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

    He posed the question of just how much concerning the act of sex was
    'work', and how much of it was pure 'pleasure'?

    A Captain chimed in with a 75-25% in favor of 'work'.

    A Lieutenant said it was probably about 50-50%.

    A Warrant-Officer responded with a 25-75% in favor of 'pleasure',
    depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

    There being no consensus, the N.C.O. turned to the private who
    was in charge of making the coffee. What was his opinion ?

    Without any hesitation, the young private responded, "Sir, it has to be
    100% pleasure, Sir."

    The N..C.O. was a little surprised and, as you might guess, said "And
    why is that, soldier" ?

    "Well, Sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me
    doing it for them, Sir".

    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  6. #1701
    fitzwilly's Avatar
    fitzwilly is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    FLUSHING, MICHIGAN
    Car Year, Make, Model: 59 FORD FAIRLANE 500 GALAXIE
    Posts
    207

    6 Degrees of Blonde

     



    `¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*
    FIRST DEGREE
    A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
    The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
    and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
    The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know,
    some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
    `¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*
    SECOND DEGREE
    Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
    the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
    mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde
    says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.
    The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
    `¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,. -:*¥`¥*:-.,_,-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*
    THIRD DEGREE
    A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
    so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
    unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
    in the arms of a redhead.
    Well, the blonde is really angry.
    She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
    she is overcome with grief.
    She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
    The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
    The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
    `¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*
    FOURTH DEGREE
    A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
    She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'
    A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
    The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'
    `¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*
    FIFTH DEGREE
    What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
    'Is it mine?'
    `¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*
    SIXTH DEGREE
    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
    ransacked and burglarized.
    She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
    The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
    As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,
    then sat down on the steps.
    Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
    I call the police for help, and what do they do?
    They send me a BLIND policeman.'
    `¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,-:*¥`¥*:-.,_,.-:*¥`¥*

  7. #1702
    glennsexton's Avatar
    glennsexton is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tigard
    Car Year, Make, Model: 63 Nova SS
    Posts
    2,498

    New Hollywood Releases

     



    Must see remakes of some of the great classics!
    Attached Images
    "Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty." John Basil Barnhil

  8. #1703
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Gardner, KS
    Car Year, Make, Model: '33 HiBoy Coupe, '32 HiBoy Roadster
    Posts
    10,638

    Thought this was a joke page, not current events....
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  9. #1704
    glennsexton's Avatar
    glennsexton is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tigard
    Car Year, Make, Model: 63 Nova SS
    Posts
    2,498

    Oh lighten up-- Current events are a joke!!
    "Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty." John Basil Barnhil

  10. #1705
    MikeB's Avatar
    MikeB is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Seabeck
    Car Year, Make, Model: 56 F100 302-C4 Jag IRS
    Posts
    153

    I laughed so hard tears were running down my cheeks, wait a minute, I think they're real tears.
    Mike
    '56 Ford F100

  11. #1706
    IC2
    IC2 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    UPSTATE New York
    Posts
    4,336

    .....and speaking of current events - here is a high level jokster:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQeNikp1Rj8
    Dave W
    I am now gone from this forum for now - finally have pulled the plug

  12. #1707
    JeffB2's Avatar
    JeffB2 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Phoenix
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1954 Ford Customline 5.0 & AOD
    Posts
    443

    Victory Celebration for Healthcare

     



    Bill is in Haiti,let the fun begin!
    Attached Images

  13. #1708
    CR55's Avatar
    CR55 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    N. Il
    Car Year, Make, Model: 37 Chevy. 48 and 60 Harleys
    Posts
    229

    That's funny!..especially Dorothy!!!.CR
    I thought I knew a lot, until I had teenagers!

  14. #1709
    Larry M's Avatar
    Larry M is offline Senior Club Hot Rod Member Lifetime Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Shelton
    Car Year, Make, Model: '23 Tall "T" Coupe 400 SBC
    Posts
    4,614

    The Silent Generation are people born before 1946.

    The Baby Boomers are people born between 1946 and 1959.

    Generation X are people born between 1960 and 1979.

    Generation Y are people born between 1980 and now.

    Why do we call the last one generation Y?
    I did not know, but a cartoonist explains it eloquently below...Learned something new today!! :-)
    Attached Images
    Every Day I Wake Up Above Ground Is a Good Day!!

  15. #1710
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Gardner, KS
    Car Year, Make, Model: '33 HiBoy Coupe, '32 HiBoy Roadster
    Posts
    10,638

    Quote Originally Posted by glennsexton View Post
    Oh lighten up-- Current events are a joke!!
    My point, to the point...
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Links monetized by VigLink