5809LikesThread: the Official CHR joke page duel
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08-20-2012 10:47 AM #1
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A year in the Future:
The first woman President of the United States was going to be sworn in so she called her Dad in Texas and told him how much she wanted him and her Mother to attend the ceremonies.
Well, he wasn't much for traveling or even leaving home for that matter so he politely told her that they would not be able to make it. After much persuasion, the promise of having them picked up with a Limo taken to the airport put on a private jet and set up in a fine suite with all the pomp and circumstance they could stand, he finally agreed to go.
Came the time of the inauguration the daughter was being sworn in and the Father leaned over to the Senator sitting next to him and said "See that woman with her hand on the Bible?" The Senator replied "Yes, I do!" Then the Father said "Did you know that her brother played football for Texas A&M?".
" I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "
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08-20-2012 05:33 PM #2
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OFFICIAL SIGN FOR HOME:
Ladies: If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
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09-05-2012 05:01 AM #3
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Wanna sell your car online but you don't have photoshop to edit out the license number?
Get a "Blonde" friend to help you out with the photos.
However, when absolutely necessary and as a last resort, you could use scotch tape.
.
" I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "
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09-07-2012 01:49 PM #4
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An oldie but a GOODIE !
Voice mail Accident Hilarious. | Funniest Stuff on the Net!.
" I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "
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09-07-2012 05:04 PM #5
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[IMG]ATT3592071.jpg[/IMG]I have two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it
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09-10-2012 01:07 PM #6
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A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel. The proud Israeli showed him around. "Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. Over there I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse," the farmer said.
The land was tiny, and the Texan was surprised by its small size. "Is this all your land?" he asked.
"Yes," the Israeli said proudly. "This is all mine!"
"You mean this is it? This is all of it?" the Texan said incredulously.
"Yes, yes, this is really all mine!"
"Well, son," said the Texan, "back home I'd get in my car before the sun'd come up and I'd drive and drive and drive, and when the sun set, why, I'd only be halfway across my land!"
"Oh, yes," replied the Israeli farmer wistfully, "I used to have a car like that.""Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty." John Basil Barnhil
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09-15-2012 07:03 AM #7
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I have two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it
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09-15-2012 08:03 AM #8
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Heaven is...
heaven is.jpgWes
You don't have to be crazy to do this...
... but it helps!
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09-17-2012 06:38 PM #9
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Larry How trueCharlie
Lovin' what I do and doing what I love
Some guys can fix broken NO ONE can fix STUPID
W8AMR
http://fishertrains94.webs.com/
Christian in training
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09-18-2012 05:33 PM #10
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Yes,Resto,,, And a cat that inhaled gas,produced acetylene kittens..
A Jamaican proctologist....Pokemon...
And innuendo is an Italian insult....Micah 6:8
If we aren't supposed to have midnight snacks,,,WHY is there a light in the refrigerator???
Robin.
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09-19-2012 02:53 PM #11
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I thought innuendo was a sexual position.
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09-20-2012 09:09 AM #12
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You are both wrong, innuendo is a Italian suppository.
Jack.www.clubhotrod.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44081
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09-22-2012 05:10 PM #13
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It Doesn’t Matter What Party You Belong To - This Is Hilarious.
From A Show On Canadian TV, There Was A Black Comedian Who Said He Misses Bill Clinton.
"Yep, That's Right - I Miss Bill Clinton! He Was The Closest Thing We Ever Got To Having A Real Black Man As President.
Number 1 - He Played The Sax.
Number 2 - He Smoked Weed.
Number 3 - He Had His Way With Ugly White Women.
Even Now? Look At Him... His Wife Works, And He Doesn't! And, He Gets A Check From The Government Every Month.
Manufacturers Announced Today That They Will Be Stocking America's Shelves This Week With "Clinton Soup," In Honor Of One Of The Nations' Distinguished Men. It Consists Primarily Of A Weenie In Hot Water.
Chrysler Corporation Is Adding A New Car To Its Line To Honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter Will Be Built In Canada.
When Asked What He Thought About Foreign Affairs, Clinton Replied, "I Don't Know, I Never Had One."
The Clinton Revised Judicial Oath: "I Solemnly Swear To Tell The Truth As I Know It, The Whole Truth As I Believe It To Be, And Nothing But What I Think You Need To Know."
Clinton Will Be Recorded In History As “The Only President To Do Hanky Panky Between The Bushes.”
Ya Gotta Love Him!Dave W
I am now gone from this forum for now - finally have pulled the plug
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09-26-2012 03:23 PM #14
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Male Logic
This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:
A wife asks her husband,
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk,
and if they have avocados, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados.".
" I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "
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09-26-2012 05:39 PM #15
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And the problem is??
Makes perfect sense to me..
Micah 6:8
If we aren't supposed to have midnight snacks,,,WHY is there a light in the refrigerator???
Robin.
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