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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3466
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    DejaVu all over again.....
    -
    Gas Cans.jpg
    -
    Edit - I figure you only want to do the sugar water thing if you have a locking gas cap or anyone that gets burned will be back and fill your tank for you.....
    Last edited by rspears; 03-30-2022 at 12:35 PM.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  2. #3467
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
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    Sex after 60 is like playing Pool with a rope
    NTFDAY, johnboy and 34_40 like this.

  3. #3468
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by rspears View Post
    DejaVu all over again.....
    -
    Attachment 74381
    You have a twisted mind.

    I like it.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  4. #3469
    glennsexton's Avatar
    glennsexton is offline CHR Member/Contributor CHR Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Tigard
    Car Year, Make, Model: 63 Nova SS
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    Please forgive me if Ive posted this before. The ost above from TOWD brought this story to mind. It is a true story and not only quite telling, but very funny.

    Years ago Joanie and I attended a church in Oregon where the youth pastor was from Canada. He related an incident that had taken place at his previous church. When the high school seniors were getting ready to graduate, the pastor assembled a panel of experts from the congregation a senior VP from a bank, the owner of a local lumber yard/hardware store, a medical doctor, a college professor and several others to include the senior elder of the church (a gentleman named Vernon Wilson). For several weeks, the pastor asked the high schoolers to submit written questions that would be fielded by this panel of experts during a banquet that was to be held in the seniors honor.

    The appointed day came and the seniors along with hundreds of members of the congregation assembled for the celebration. As the meals were cleared, the pastor assembled the panel on the stage and then drew questions from a large glass bowl. It went something like this:

    My grandparents gave me a $1,000 check for graduation. What should I do with this money? The question was fielded by the VP from the bank with several options for investments.

    Another question was read, I dont think I am college material Id like to work someplace where I can actually learn a trade. What are my options? The business owner suggested the young man come by his establishment and he could get him started in learning the lumber/hardware business.

    Several more questions were fielded and answers/suggestions were rendered. All was going according to plan until the pastor drew the following question:

    At what age do people stop having sex?

    A collective inhale sound was followed by total silence as the very conservative congregation waited for the pastor to dismiss this question. Instead Vernon stood to his feet and replied,

    I think I can address this one. He re-read the question, At what age do people stop having sex?... Hmmm, well I dont rightly know, but I can tell you its sometime after 70.

    The place erupted with clapping and cheers as Vernon sat down with a big smile on his face.

    Up until that evening, all of the high school boys had revered Vernon and always addressed him as Mr. Wilson. In the ensuing days, the high school boys were seen giving Mr. Wilson high-fives and asking,

    Yo Vernon hows Mrs. Wilson! Which elicited great peals of laughter from all parties followed by great times of discussion among Vernon and the boys. He became an icon and a hero to those kids.
    NTFDAY, TOW'D, johnboy and 2 others like this.
    "Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty." John Basil Barnhil

  5. #3470
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Could someone please tell me what is the lowest rank in the army?

    Every time I ask anyone they won't tell me because it's private.
    Dave Severson likes this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  6. #3471
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    nobody is more private than a general
    nobody is more general than a private
    Dave Severson and stovens like this.

  7. #3472
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    How come you Americans call them escalators when we call them lifts?

    I guess it's just how we were brought up.
    Dave Severson likes this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  8. #3473
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Bicycle wheels.

     



    I got a job at a factory that manufactures bicycle wheels.

    I'm the spokesman.
    Dave Severson, 34_40 and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  9. #3474
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
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    I just spent $100 on a belt that's too small for me.

    What a waste.
    Dave Severson and 34_40 like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  10. #3475
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    I found a coin on the pavement the other day. It had teeth marks all over it.

    I think it's a bit coin.
    Dave Severson and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  11. #3476
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: '33 HiBoy Coupe, '32 HiBoy Roadster
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    Bit Coin...... ARRRRGH!
    stovens likes this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  12. #3477
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Karl Marx was a well known German politician who has been well written about. Not so well known is his sister Onya.


    She was he first to use a shot from a pistol to start a race.
    Dave Severson and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  13. #3478
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Posts
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    Did you hear about the ATM that had a breakdown?


    It was showing withdrawal symptoms.
    Dave Severson, 34_40 and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  14. #3479
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
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    I passed my wife a glue stick instead of her lipstick.


    She's still not talking to me.
    Dave Severson, 34_40 and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  15. #3480
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
    Posts
    711

    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.,
    I called the Suicide Hotline I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

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