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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3481
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    My grandson turned four today so we went to visit him and give him ice cream. When he came out I didn't recognise him.


    Then I realised I'd never seen him be four.
    Last edited by johnboy; 04-02-2022 at 10:35 PM.
    Dave Severson, NTFDAY and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  2. #3482
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    NOPE... NO NO NO... NOPE, No Way!!! JB..... arghhhh...
    Dave Severson and stovens like this.

  3. #3483
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34_40 View Post
    NOPE... NO NO NO... NOPE, No Way!!! JB..... arghhhh...
    Sorry Mike.

    Are they too complex for your intellectual capacity?



    (Just poking the bear...)



    How about this one: Mt Rushmore was unpresidented before those sculptors got there.
    Dave Severson, NTFDAY and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  4. #3484
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnboy View Post
    Sorry Mike.

    Are they too complex for your intellectual capacity?



    (Just poking the bear...)



    How about this one: Mt Rushmore was unpresidented before those sculptors got there.
    ....and from the rarely used NNW approach to the famed mountain:

    MT Rush.jpg
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  5. #3485
    34_40's Avatar
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    Must be JB.. but that one was really bad! and the mountain art has really slid down the backside!
    NTFDAY and stovens like this.

  6. #3486
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    How do you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?


    It isn't hard.
    NTFDAY, 34_40 and stovens like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  7. #3487
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnboy View Post
    How do you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?


    It isn't hard.
    I don't get it... you better explain this! 8-)

  8. #3488
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34_40 View Post
    I don't get it... you better explain this! 8-)
    Or maybe not....... Better to just leave Mike wondering
    NTFDAY, johnboy and 34_40 like this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  9. #3489
    34_40's Avatar
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  10. #3490
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    I always knock on my fridge door before opening it.


    Just in case there's a salad dressing in there.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  11. #3491
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
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    * I have often wanted to drown my troubles but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
    * My wife made me coffee this morning and winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life.
    * Sex before marriage is considered a sin, and after marriage, a miracle.
    * My wife just stopped me and said "You weren't even listening to me." I thought "That's a strange way to start a conversation."
    * Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
    * When I farted she left. Gone with the wind!
    * As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible but brassing them off is a piece of cake.
    *My wife told me that if stupid could fly, I'd be a jet.
    * There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is , once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.
    * The police just pulled me over and said "Papers." I said "Scissors, I win." And drove off. I think he wants a rematch. He's been chasing me for 45 minutes.
    * My favourite part of the marathon is watching the runners reactions when they grab my plastic cup of vodka.
    * I went to the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and have a look around. They said "No." and slammed the door in my face. My parents can be so rude.
    * She said she missed me. Normally that would be good but she is reloading.
    * "I ran into my ex yesterday"
    "What did she say?"
    "I don't know. I just kept on driving."
    * You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they are around your throat she's probably very upset.
    * You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after winning a tennis game? That's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
    * Seeing how some people wear their masks, I now understand how contraceptives fail.
    * "Why isn't John at work today?"
    "He's in hospital."
    "But I'm sure I saw him dancing with a lovely girl last night."
    "So did his wife."
    * Notice on the side of a van 'We fix what your husband fixed.'
    * I went to visit a psychic and knocked on her door. She yelled "Who is it?" So I left.
    'Cracker' joke
    Q. What do you call 100 little sheep rolling down a hill?

    A. A lamb slide.
    NTFDAY and johnboy like this.

  12. #3492
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    William Shatner has discontinued his new line of lingerie.

    Apparently, Shatner panties wasn’t the best choice for a name.
    NTFDAY likes this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  13. #3493
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Finland have just closed their borders with Ukraine.

    Which means no one can cross the finish line.
    NTFDAY likes this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  14. #3494
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnboy View Post
    finland have just closed their borders with ukraine.

    Which means no one can cross the finish line.
    Aaaaarrrgh!
    AARGH.jpg
    johnboy and 34_40 like this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  15. #3495
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Her: What do you do?

    Me: I race cars.

    Her: Do you win many races?

    Me: No, the cars are much faster.
    NTFDAY likes this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

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