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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #2491
    MelloYello's Avatar
    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Yeah, old Scrooge is a ulcer candidate for sure - - - - even "I" wouldn't scream at a Piano hahahahahaha - - - but he made us smile and didn't even know it !
    cffisher likes this.
    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  2. #2492
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    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  3. #2493
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    cffisher is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 57 chevy 2 dr wagon
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    Very cleaver
    Charlie
    Lovin' what I do and doing what I love
    Some guys can fix broken NO ONE can fix STUPID
    W8AMR
    http://fishertrains94.webs.com/
    Christian in training

  4. #2494
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
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    Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

    "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your
    captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York.

    The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and.........OH... MY GOD!"

    Silence followed.

    Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

    From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled.......

    ."For the luvva Jaysus......you should see the back of mine!"
    cffisher, lamin8r and Jack F like this.

  5. #2495
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    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: '33 HiBoy Coupe, '32 HiBoy Roadster
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    A clipping from a local paper in the UK....
    Parking Lot Mechanic.jpg
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  6. #2496
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    Roger that one gave me a good chuckle!
    " "No matter where you go, there you are!" Steve.

  7. #2497
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    YEP! That was a good one!

  8. #2498
    Rrumbler is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: Sans hot rod, sold the truck.
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    Yes indeedy, Roger, an oldie but always a goodie.

    Here's one for the season, sort of:

    __________________________________________

    One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”

    His wife asked, “How do you know?”

    “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
    glennsexton likes this.
    Rrumbler, Aka: Hey you, "Old School", Hairy, and other unsavory monickers.

    Twistin' and bangin' on stuff for about sixty or so years; beat up and busted, but not entirely dead - yet.

  9. #2499
    rspears's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rrumbler View Post
    “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
    Grrrrroaaaaaaannnnnnn....
    I passed that one on to my daughter, to spring on her two older boys.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  10. #2500
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    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  11. #2501
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    Daddy's a Gay Dancer

     



    One day a fourth grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
    All the typical answers came up... fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman... and so forth.
    However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off his clothes to music in front of other men who put money in his underwear.
    The teacher, obviously shaken by what she 'd heard, quickly set the the other children to work on some exercises. She took Justin aside and asked him, "Is that really true about your father?"
    "No," the boy said, "He plays football for the Oakland Raiders, but that's too embarrassing to say in front of the other kids."
    lamin8r likes this.
    Wes
    You don't have to be crazy to do this...
    ... but it helps!

  12. #2502
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    Snow storm parking

     




    On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast.
    They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through."

    So the good wife went out and moved her car.

    A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through."

    The good wife went out and moved her car again.

    The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park....." Then the electricity went out.


    The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow ploughs can get through?"

    Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time."

    --------I didn't see it coming either!








    Remember, Freedom isn't Free, thousands have paid the price so you can enjoy what you have today.

    Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

  13. #2503
    MelloYello's Avatar
    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  14. #2504
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    Last night I gradually woke up stiff as a plank in the hospital ICU.There were tubes up my nose and down my throat, and machines monitoring my every function.
    I had a horrible pain in my head over my left ear, but I managed to hear the gorgeous nurse hovering over me tell me that I had been in a serious accident.
    She looked at me deep and steady and I heard her slowly say "You may not feel anything from the waist down, Sir".
    I managed to mumble in reply ,well .. " Can I feel your tits, then?"
    iv`e used up all my sick days at work .. can i call in dead ?

  15. #2505
    MelloYello's Avatar
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    Norwegian husband, Olef, sent a text message to his wife one night that read:
    “Lena, I’m having 1 more beer with Sven.”
    “If I’m not home in 1 hour .... read this message again.”
    Olef
    lamin8r likes this.
    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

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