Welcome to Club Hot Rod!  The premier site for everything to do with Hot Rod, Customs, Low Riders, Rat Rods, and more. 

  •  » Members from all over the US and the world!
  •  » Help from all over the world for your questions
  •  » Build logs for you and all members
  •  » Blogs
  •  » Image Gallery
  •  » Many thousands of members and hundreds of thousands of posts! 

YES! I want to register an account for free right now!  p.s.: For registered members this ad will NOT show

 
Like Tree3163Likes

Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

Reply To Thread
Page 162 of 230 FirstFirst ... 62 112 152 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 172 212 ... LastLast
Results 2,416 to 2,430 of 3445
  1. #2416
    MelloYello's Avatar
    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Montgomery
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1962 Ford Fairlane 2dr with 289
    Posts
    9,934

    Came in from having a few with the boys and there was a note on the Frig that read:
    "This just isn't working and I can't stand it anymore so I'm going to my Mothers"
    I opened the Frig and the light came on and the beer was still cold - - - ??? wonder what's she's talking about???
    lamin8r likes this.
    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  2. #2417
    MelloYello's Avatar
    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Montgomery
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1962 Ford Fairlane 2dr with 289
    Posts
    9,934

    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  3. #2418
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Bella Coola
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
    Posts
    677

    During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level, and so I described a typical day this way:

    Well, Yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers. Escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four 'leaks' behind big trees."

    Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

    'No,' I replied, I'm, just a very poor golfer."
    lamin8r likes this.

  4. #2419
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Bella Coola
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
    Posts
    677

    An elderly (and slightly tipsy) man is stopped by the police around 2 AM and is asked where he was going at this late hour.

    The man replies, "I am going to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse
    and the effects it has on the human body and social relations".

    The officer then asks, "Really? Who on earth is giving such a lecture
    at this time of night?"

    The man replies simply, "My wife."
    lamin8r likes this.

  5. #2420
    MelloYello's Avatar
    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Montgomery
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1962 Ford Fairlane 2dr with 289
    Posts
    9,934

    This is for Mike and the other Guitar Pickers:

    Do you know why a guitar picker keeps a capo on the dash of his car?
    So he can park in a handicapped zone.
    34_40 likes this.
    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  6. #2421
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    New Bedford
    Car Year, Make, Model: 34 Ford 3W Coupe Replica
    Posts
    13,965

    You're letting the secret out now Em!! ROFL....

  7. #2422
    Mudduck3's Avatar
    Mudduck3 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Long Beach
    Car Year, Make, Model: 65 Mustang
    Posts
    98

    A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

    He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

    Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

    'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

    'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

    The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

    'Moses,' replied the bird.

    'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

    'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

  8. #2423
    MelloYello's Avatar
    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Montgomery
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1962 Ford Fairlane 2dr with 289
    Posts
    9,934

    TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:

    (10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

    (9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

    (8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

    (7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

    (6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple a day

    (5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

    (4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," and this is not a typographical error.

    (3) The only expense covered 100% is.. "Embalming."

    (2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

    AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:

    (1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
    34_40, stovens, lamin8r and 1 others like this.
    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  9. #2424
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    New Bedford
    Car Year, Make, Model: 34 Ford 3W Coupe Replica
    Posts
    13,965

    Mello Yello is KING!!! ROFLMAO..

  10. #2425
    Mudduck3's Avatar
    Mudduck3 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Long Beach
    Car Year, Make, Model: 65 Mustang
    Posts
    98

    Bank robber walks in, tells the teller at gun point "Give me all the money". She does and then he shoots her.

    Robber turns to the gentleman behind him and says "Did you see anything?" and the gentleman says "I saw it all". The bank robber shoots him.

    Robber turns to the next gentleman and says "Did you see anything?" the next gentleman says "No, but my wife saw it all"

  11. #2426
    glennsexton's Avatar
    glennsexton is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Tigard
    Car Year, Make, Model: 63 Nova SS
    Posts
    2,431

    An elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. She was so angered that she approached the young fellow and stated, through gritted teeth, 'I was about to park there.'

    The man looked at her with disdain and replied, "That's what you can do when you're young and bright."

    This annoyed her even more, so she got back in her car, backed it up and then she stamped on the accelerator and rammed straight into his BMW.

    The young man came back to his car and found a note, "This is what you can do when you're old and rich."
    lamin8r likes this.
    "Where the people fear the government you have tyranny. Where the government fears the people you have liberty." John Basil Barnhil

  12. #2427
    MelloYello's Avatar
    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Montgomery
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1962 Ford Fairlane 2dr with 289
    Posts
    9,934

    A guy is walking along a Florida beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.

    The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever."

    "Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

    "OK, then, I want to die after the Democrats balance the budget and eliminate the debt.

    "You crafty little bastard," said the genie
    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  13. #2428
    MelloYello's Avatar
    MelloYello is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Montgomery
    Car Year, Make, Model: 1962 Ford Fairlane 2dr with 289
    Posts
    9,934

    I refuse to purchase a Webster's Dictionary because, as soon as I do, they will release the "Movie" !
    .
    " I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "

  14. #2429
    Mudduck3's Avatar
    Mudduck3 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Long Beach
    Car Year, Make, Model: 65 Mustang
    Posts
    98

    FACT: 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
    Rrumbler and lamin8r like this.

  15. #2430
    Rrumbler is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Car Year, Make, Model: Sans hot rod, sold the truck.
    Posts
    1,207

    That's pretty sneaky, Mr. Duck.
    lamin8r and Mudduck3 like this.
    Rrumbler, Aka: Hey you, "Old School", Hairy, and other unsavory monickers.

    Twistin' and bangin' on stuff for about sixty or so years; beat up and busted, but not entirely dead - yet.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Links monetized by VigLink