I just wanted to make a snowman...
8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman
8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere
8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead
8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts
8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa
8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended
8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role
8:43 The council equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction
8:45 TV news crew from TVNZ shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.
9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... my children are taken by social services
9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today, and it's going to get worse
Breaking News From Aussie!
A nine year old girl has disappeared after using moisturiser that makes you look 10 years younger.
Never try to be clever with a woman.
A woman was going to Italy on a ten-day business trip. Before leaving, she asked her husband if there was a present he wanted her to bring back.
“How about an Italian girl?” he laughed.
The suggestion was met with stony silence.
Ten days later, she returned home and he asked her whether she’d had a good trip.
“Yes, it was surprisingly enjoyable,” she replied.
“And where’s my present?” he smiled.
“What present?”
“The one I asked for – an Italian girl.”
“Oh, that! I did what I could; now we have to wait nine months to see if it’s a girl.”