the Official CHR joke page duel

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible
out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 100
mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal
even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol
behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 120
mph, then 130, then 140. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm
too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette,
looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 20 minutes. Today
is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never
heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off
with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper.

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get Burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a Burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated Burritos so much."


(Oh this is GOOD!!)?


Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,


"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"

(cleaned up for this site)

For the election, we have, on one side, a lawyer married to a lawyer running in the primary against a lawyer married to a lawyer. On the other side, we have a war hero married to a good looking woman who owns a beer distributorship. Why are we even voting?

I love that way of thinking! Can I vote now,.... on my way to the bar, over at the American Legion? :-)

A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.

Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.

Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked,
'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'

'I was stung by a bee', she said.

'Where', he asked.

'Between the first and second hole', she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said,

"Then your stance is too wide."

Dear friends,

I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking....

Scared the @#*& out of me!

So that's it!

After today, no more reading!!!!!

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States.

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education."

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America."

The person says "I am not American, I am Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further and stops the next person he sees, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful America."

That person puts up his hand and says " I am from the Middle East, I am not American."

He finally sees a nice lady and asks "Are you an American?"

She says "No, I am from Africa." Puzzled, he asks her "Where are all the Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says "Probably at work."

HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I?
Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Doberman Pinscher: Leave it out. I prefer to work in the dark...
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheep Dog: I thought it got dark out there, but you know, from under here, it's so hard to tell.
Puli: You know, thees lighteengs appeel to my deep, roMANteek soul. I weell put on a leetle geepsie music for you, my dear. Then maybe we cry a leetle together, no?
Alsatian (German Shepherd): Who turned out the lights?! Nobody move! You're all under arrest.
Junkyard dog: Hey, don't throw away that burned-out bulb. We can use that.
Any cat: You there, Alsatian, get the ladder. Irish setter, fetch the spare bulb. No, not a 60-watt you idiot. 100-watt. Do I have to do everything....?!!!

Two youths were arrested in Mexico
One was drinking battery acid and the other was snorting gunpowder.
The Police charged one and let the other off.

:)

new visegrips

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 42K3

Two youths were arrested in Mexico
One was drinking battery acid and the other was snorting gunpowder.
The Police charged one and let the other off.

:)

---

No offense, but shouldn't it read

The Police charged one and lit the other off.

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
What the heck -They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party
atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in
this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women .

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary,
thus saving even more money. ; I suspect tips would be so good that we
could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked
women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline
industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win- win situation if we handle it right - a golden
opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything
myself?

Bill Clinton

> A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive
> woman waving at him.
> She says hello. He's rather taken back because he
> can't place where he knows
> her from.
>
>
>
> So he says, 'Do you know me?'
>
>
>
> To which she replies, 'I think you're the father
> of one of my kids.'
>
>
>
> Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
> unfaithful to
> his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from
> my bachelor party that
> I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
> watching while your
> partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'
>
>
>
> She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries,
but, now we know...

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her
from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework .. you're a pansy.

If you work too hard... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay... this is
exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay... you
should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her... that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you... it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet... it's male indifference.

If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't... you're insensitive.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...
you're a pervert.
If you don't... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape...
you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape... you're vain.
If you don't... you're a slob.

If she has a headache... she's tired.
If you have a headache... you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often... you're oversexed.
If you don't... there must be someone else.

Bottom Line... Men die first because they want to.

Well that pretty much sums it up!

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11
year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked
him to come over.
Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten
T error?
What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Richard grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error
before?'
'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure
it out.'
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T ... I used to like the little
shit.............

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.

His wife says, "Where are you going?" He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Are you sick?"
"No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife gets out of her rocker and puts on her coat.
He said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."

SCHOOL -- 1958 vs. 2008

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1958
- Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008
- School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to
jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1958
- Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.



Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.


Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1958 -Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1958 - Ants die.
2008- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1958 -In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.


This should hit every e-mail to show how stupid we have become!

Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outta night crawlers.
He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf.
He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decides to steal dat froggie.
Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin, so Boudreaux had to be real careful or he'd get bit.
He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit.
He squirmin and wrappin hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free.
But Boudreaux, him, hada real good grip on his haid, yeh.
Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his bait can.
Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or he's gonna bite him good, but he had a plan.
He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a Tennessee hillbilly moonshine likker.
He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp.
Wit dat, Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou, den he goes back to fish'n.
A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe.
He slowly look down and dere be dat cotton moufed water moccasin, wif two more frogs.
Life be Good down on de bayou.

A recent study found the average American walks

about 900 miles per year.

Another study found Americans drink, on average,

22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41

miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud to be an American.

Its about time we starting playing hard ball with OPEC

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel.
OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel.
Solution: Sell grain to them, for $136.00 a bushel.
Can't buy it? Tough! Eat your oil!
Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel ass!!!

Two Rednecks, Jim and Bubba, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bubba and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.' Bubba thinks it's a good idea, and the t wo leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and Logic.

'Logic?' Jim says 'What's that?'

The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'

'Yeah.'

'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.'

'That's true, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Yes, I do have a house.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'

'Yes, I have a family.'

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.'

'I a m a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.'

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bubba at the bar. He tells Bubba about his classes & how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Bubba says, 'What's that?'

Jim says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'

'No.'

'Then you're a queer.'

New Government Symbol
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
http://www.geocities.com/ceh383/Govt.jpg

Why don’t they have sex ed classes and driving classes on the same day in Afghanistan???


Because the camels would be too tired.

St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates checking up on the people
waiting to enter Heaven.

He asks the next one in line, 'So, who are you, and
what did you do on Earth?'
The fellow says, 'I'm Barack Obama, and I was the
first black to be elected President of the United States.'
St. Peter says, 'The U.S.? A black President? You
gotta be kidding me!
When did this happen?'
And Obama says, 'About twenty minutes ago.':CRY:

What is the difference between a blonde female and a blonde male?













The blonde female has a higher sperm count

Inner Peace

Some doctor on the television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel.

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?'

Margaret looked him over 'Nope'

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!!'

Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'

'Nope', she replied.

'IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!''

Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.'

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her.
'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...'
'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a
ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex.
And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside
plus a membership to the country club ........ (takes a breath) ...... and an invitation for ye all
to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and ...'

'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a
Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.'

A young boy on his way home from school must pass a group of hookers.
Every day as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say 'Hi there, little boy.'
One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies.
She replies, 'Well, that is what size we imagine your penis to be... it is just a joke.'
The next day on his way home, the hookers repeat the tradition. The young boy stops and drops his school books on the ground, sticks all his fingers in his mouth to stretch his lips very wide and says, 'Hi there ladies!'

Well, this Doctor who had a very successful Proctology practice finally decides he's had enough of dealing with peoples behinds and retires to pursue his live long dream to become an auto mechanic so he could work on his hot rod.

After the first year of school the doctor is given his exam to qualify for the next advanced class.
The instructor of the class gets a call from the Dean of the School and is asked to report to his office. The Dean asks why the Doctor received an A+++++ on his final exam.
The instructor exclaims that the final included rebuilding an engine while still mounted in the car.
The Dean asks why the excessive grade....any one of the better students could have done this task easily.
The instructor remarks, "Thru the tail pipe"?

Q: Why does Tiger Woods wear 2 pairs of pants?

A: Incase he gets a hole in 1.

Best Comeback Line Ever

In summary; the police arrested Ward Branham, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Lethbridge, Alberta, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Ward will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Calgary courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. 'You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around there for miles. At least I thought there wasn't,' he stated in a phone interview. Ward went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.'

'I guess I was just really into it, you know?' he commented, with evident embarrassment. In the process, Ward apparently failed to notice a police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brin Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to (Ward) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin.' Taylor went on to describe what happened when SHE approached Ward. 'I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said . . . . . . .















'A pumpkin? Damn . . . is it midnight already?'

A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the
door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her
daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. The CD player was playing
soft music,
and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for Bill to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in- law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"

''Bill loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no
end....
Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes
romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her
best perfume,
dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, lay on the couch waiting for
her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw
her lying there
so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"


'HE NEVER HEARD THE SHOT'

Being retired...

Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our days
interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to the news stand for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was only in there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said, "Come on, man, don't you have anything better to do than write a retired person a ticket? Why aren't you out chasing crooks or child molesters? That's out of your league, obviously."

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him "Barney Fife."

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus.

The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "OBAMA in '08."

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

Many people over 50, (WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite
confused about how we should present ourselves.

We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and
whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current
fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets,the
following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Mini skirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least:

13. Thongs and Depends

Glad to see a joke page, I posted a joke over in HAMB land a while back and first was told I was banned for 10 dazs or something like that. So I told Mr. really important to lighten up and take a pill, guess he was to stupid to get the joke. Anyway the joke was hotrod related, long short story, short I am banned for LIFE.... boo hoo, I more then likely will never get over that and cry myself to sleep every night since, guess I did not get the HAMBs proper posting rules correct for that upscale board, got a kick out of busting the clowns balls, banned for life, is that his life, my life or the internets life.....banned for life WOW........:CRY:

What the moron has not figured out is there is a back door that gets used :eek:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by pepi

Glad to see a joke page, I posted a joke over in HAMB land a while back and first was told I was banned for 10 dazs or something like that. So I told Mr. really important to lighten up and take a pill, guess he was to stupid to get the joke. Anyway the joke was hotrod related, long short story, short I am banned for LIFE.... boo hoo, I more then likely will never get over that and cry myself to sleep every night since, guess I did not get the HAMBs proper posting rules correct for that upscale board, got a kick out of busting the clowns balls, banned for life, is that his life, my life or the internets life.....banned for life WOW........:CRY:

What the moron has not figured out is there is a back door that gets used :eek:

---

Pepi - You? Banned for life?? On such an important internet car forum as HAMB??? And the choice and impertinent language used there???? I haven't been yet but every time I post there, and it isn't often, I get the feeling I'm an outsider and interrupting a corporate merger - maybe I should see if they would ban me as well :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

A chicken and an egg check in to a cheap motel room. Moments later the chicken sits up against the headboard and lights a cigarette.

The egg says, “Well, that settles that.”

...check out my user name.....it was EARNED!!!;)