Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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So a female employee got an expensive pen as a birthday gift from her boss. She sent him a 'Thank you note' by email:

Boss’s wife read the email and filed for divorce.

The email said: Your penis wonderful and I enjoyed using it last night. It has extra ordinary smooth flow and a firm stroke. I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I was in heaven when using it. Thanks a lot.!

Moral: A "space" is an essential part of English grammar!

I know a guy that is really clever. He makes guitars out of pool cues.

He calls them acuestick guitars.

I launched a set of books today aimed at small children.

Even managed to hit three of the little beggars...

I met my wife at a singles dance.

I was quite surprised, as I thought she was at home with the kids.

This young Cowboy in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day.
The young Cowboy walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and down and said, "I have a suggestion that is sure to help."
"Tell me, tell me," said the young Cowboy. "Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "Definitely," said the old man.
The young Cowboy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "Wow, that really helped. Do you have any more suggestions?"
"Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, the gun will come out smoother." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "It sure will," said the old man.
The young Cowboy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot a cufflink off the piano player. "This is really helping me. Is there anything else you can share with me?" "One more thing," said the old man. "Get that can of axle grease over there in the corner and rub it all over your gun."
The young Cowboy didn't hesitate but started putting the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No, the whole gun, handle and everything," said the old man.
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
"No," said the old man, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing that piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much!"

Did you know that in Hawaii it is illegal to laugh out loud?

You have to keep it to A Lo Ha.

On a Holman/Moody Intake - OOOOPS!!
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FE Firing.jpg

and my amplifiers go to 11 !! LOL

Originally Posted by 34_40

and my amplifiers go to 11 !! LOL

and I don't understand that at all!

I'd 'ate to try and work that out!

I went into an electrical shop and I said to the owner "I need a battery so I can tell the time."
He said "Is it for a clock?"
I said "I don't know. That's why I need the battery."

Years ago some climbers were the first to get go the top of a mountain. They put up a flag and said "Here we are at the top of ????
"Hey what can we call it?"
"We can't call it 'The Top', what can we call it ?
One climber said " Well we'll have to call it summit "

Originally Posted by rspears

and I don't understand that at all!

From an old spoof movie called Spinal Tap. Just seemed to fit the part when I read the firing order.

Originally Posted by 34_40

From an old spoof movie called Spinal Tap. Just seemed to fit the part when I read the firing order.

And just because... here is a clip. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fIrT_uNxPrc

Originally Posted by 34_40

And just because... here is a clip. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fIrT_uNxPrc

CLASSIC!!
Great placement on your first post!!
Admittedly I did LoL!!