Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
-
05-21-2024 09:22 PM #3976
I went for qn interview for a bus driving job. I said "Sorry I'm late!"
He said "You're hired!"johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
Advertising
- Google Adsense
- REGISTERED USERS DO NOT SEE THIS AD
-
05-22-2024 05:47 AM #3977
For Johnboy:
With all of the harping from my doctors about healthy living I've found that I'm totally addicted to hiking! I'm taking steps to deal with my addiction but I'm not out of the woods yet....Roger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
-
05-22-2024 09:36 PM #3978
Well I've sure gotten old too so don't worry about it!
I've had two bypass surgeries, new knees, fought prostate, cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications daily that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have poor circulation, can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can't remember my friends, nor can I remember if i'm 85 or 92.
But thankfully I still have my driver's license!
(And if you believe all that you're sillier than I am!)
Last edited by johnboy; 05-22-2024 at 09:42 PM.
johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
05-23-2024 07:32 PM #3979
OK, I'll leave the play on words posts to jb from now on...Roger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
-
05-23-2024 09:40 PM #3980
Oops!
Mea culpa!
I noticed the puns, had a quiet chuckle, and thought I'd have to trump it. (Note no capital on the 'T', I'm not getting at him!)
If it ruffled your feathers i'll go back and delete it.
My bad.johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
05-23-2024 10:06 PM #3981
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid. He said, "It's State of the Art and cost me a small fortune!"
I asked, "What type is it?"
He said, "Two thirty-five."johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
05-24-2024 05:29 AM #3982
No ruffled feathers here! I just figured that the play on words must have taken a different meaning in the trip from north to south, like "a Maureen" or "a Sheila" referring to a random, likely attractive young gal in your stories, while up here those are just specific names. Or "Bob's your uncle!" said to someone up here will likely get a confused reply, "Bob Who? I've got no Uncle Bob that I know of....' (Other than OUR Uncle Bob Parmenter!!)
No blood, no foul, all good - Bob's your uncle!Last edited by rspears; 05-24-2024 at 05:31 AM.
Roger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
-
05-24-2024 09:15 PM #3983
You can always trust a nudist.
They have nothing to hide.johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
05-27-2024 08:15 AM #3984
A young cowboy walks into a seedy old café in Wyoming. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of meaty chilli.
After a few minutes of just watching him staring at the chili, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?" The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, you go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.
The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got too!”
-
05-27-2024 09:40 PM #3985
One morning a husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decided to take the boat out and go for a ride. She motored out a short distance, anchored, and began to read her book.
A short time later, along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulled up alongside the woman and said, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replied, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)
“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informed her.
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”
“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” said the woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you,” said the game warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”
“Have a nice day ma’am,” he said, and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It’s likely she can also thinkjohnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
05-27-2024 09:42 PM #3986
The main function of your little toe is to make sure all the furniture in the house is in the right place.Last edited by johnboy; 05-27-2024 at 09:49 PM.
johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
05-31-2024 09:29 PM #3987
My ex-wife just told me that she wants us to get back together again.
Man, I sure am lucky!
I mean, first I won the Lottery, and now this!johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
06-01-2024 09:27 PM #3988
I said to my wife: "When I die I'd like to die having sex."
She replied: "At least we'll know that it's quick."johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
-
06-02-2024 08:38 AM #3989
When 3 people have sex
It's called a Threesome
when Two people have sex
It's called a Twosome
Now I understand
Why they call you
Handsome
-
06-02-2024 03:02 PM #3990
Today I placed an on-line order for two items, a chicken and an egg. I'll let you know which one comes first!!Roger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
Almost looks like a "Before" picture of Randy Ross' F100 that's now sporting IRS, IFS and Coyote Power!! But your cab & bed colors match! ;) Great truck!!
55 Wagon Progress