Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
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11-28-2023 08:28 PM #3781
Got it now!" "No matter where you go, there you are!" Steve.
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11-28-2023 09:28 PM #3782
I spent $250 on a limousine and just found out the fee doesn't include the driver.
All that money and nothing to chauffeur it!johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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11-29-2023 08:25 PM #3783
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest?johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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11-30-2023 07:09 AM #3784
Guilty.... Perhaps "Shade Tree Mechanic"?
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wrenches.jpgRoger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
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11-30-2023 02:23 PM #3785
And what's funniest in that picture.. they are doing it wrong! LOL
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11-30-2023 08:30 PM #3786
johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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11-30-2023 08:31 PM #3787
Roger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
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11-30-2023 08:32 PM #3788
I must've got tangled with Hank's (TOW"D) big fingers.Last edited by johnboy; 11-30-2023 at 08:38 PM.
johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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11-30-2023 09:55 PM #3789
lady enters a fishmongers and asks for three cod fillets
"I'm sorry madam , we have sold out of cod "
"OH! " she says " Ah well three cod fillets then "
" sorry madam , we have no cod at all "
" Um, in that cae i will have three cod fillets " she says yet again
"listen love , spell plaice for me " says the monger
" p.l.a.i.c.e. " she says
" excellent , now can you spell salmon " he asks her
" s.a.l.m.o.n. " comes the reply .
" brilliant , now spell cod "
" C.O.D. " he hears from her sweet lips
"where's the F ?" asks the fishmonger looking at her quizzically
The lady looks surprised & informs the fishmonger " There is no F in cod "
" Finally " he says "NOW what would you like instead "
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12-01-2023 07:59 AM #3790
LOL I sometimes get a small bit of education from johnboy's & TOW'D's posts here. jb tosses in NZ slang terms that often have me wondering, and today it's "plaice" from TOW'D! My first reaction was "There's no 'I' in the word PLACE, like a noun is a person, place or thing. But then I Googled the spelling and learned that a plaice is a variety of flounder, a common european term! Fishmonger isn't in my day-to-day vocabulary, but I'm familiar enough with the term for a shop selling fish.
They say one should learn something every day, so today I've learned the name "plaice"!! Thanks, TOW'D!!Roger
Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.
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12-01-2023 11:42 AM #3791
I got to know a lot of different fish species serving as a Foreign fishery Observer on a Korean fishing vessel, monitoring and reporting daily catch to NOAA, during fishing seasons that foreign boats were allowed to fish in US waters up in the Bering Sea in Alaska. this was in the late 1980's. Alaska really was and is the last frontier, trust me on this!
https://www.google.com/search?q=plai...hrome&ie=UTF-8Last edited by stovens; 12-01-2023 at 11:48 AM.
" "No matter where you go, there you are!" Steve.
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12-01-2023 08:09 PM #3792
Two locals from a small town are critiquing their new neighbour.
"Is he a big fella?" asks one.
"Well of you're going to walk around him take a packed lunch."johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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12-02-2023 09:05 PM #3793
I bought a teddy for $10, named him Mohammed then sold him on for $20.
Question is, did I make a prophet?johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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12-03-2023 07:45 PM #3794
it is getting harder trying to keep up with johnboy
In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said "You must meet Captain Smithers, my right-hand man. God, he's really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three foot tall.
"Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines.
I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of ..."
Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, the CO can find all that in your file.
Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to get f*cked.
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12-06-2023 08:38 PM #3795
I was dating a beautiful cross-eyed girl for the last twelve months.
We broke up 'cos she was seeing someone else.johnboy
Mountain man. (Retired.)
Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.
'47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
'49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
'51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
'64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.
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