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Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel
          
   
   

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  1. #3676
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    I couldn't get into the restaurant without a tie so I used my cars jumper cables.

    The manager said "O.K. but don't start anything"
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  2. #3677
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    A Queenslander is drinking in a West Australian Pub when he gets a call on his mobile phone and as he listens to the call he starts grinning from ear to ear, then when he disconnects he shouts to the barman that he wants to buy everyone in the bar a drink.
    The barman starts serving the drinks and the people start to crowd around keen to know what they are celebrating.
    "Well," he announces, "My wife's just produced a typical Queensland baby boy weighing 25 pounds".
    Nobody can believe that any baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Queenslander just shrugs, "That's about average in Queensland. Like I said, my boy is a typical Queensland boy."
    Congratulations showered him from all around and many exclamations of "STREWTH" and "BLOODY HELL!" were heard. One woman even fainted due to sympathy pains.

    Two weeks later the Queenslander returns to the same bar. The barman says "You're the father of that typical Queensland baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth aren't you? Everybody's been having bets about how big he'd be in 2 weeks, we were going to call you. So - how much does he weigh now?"
    The proud father answers: "17 pounds."
    The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
    The Queensland father takes a long s-l-o-w swig from his XXXX Gold beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans onto the bar and proudly says, "We had him circumcised!"🤣
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  3. #3678
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
    Posts
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    I have an old miners helmet with a torch on the front.

    I never wear it because it makes me lightheaded...
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  4. #3679
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
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    797

    cat stuttering

     



    cat that stutters
    IMG_20230505_193448.jpg

  5. #3680
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    The sheriff enters the bar "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jack?" he asks.
    "What does he look like?"
    "He wears a brown paper suit, with a brown paper hat, shirt, tie, socks and shoes."
    "What's he wanted for sheriff?"

    "Rustling."
    NTFDAY and 40FordDeluxe like this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  6. #3681
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 34 Ford 3W Coupe Replica
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    OUCH JB..... paper thin that one!
    rspears and 40FordDeluxe like this.

  7. #3682
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: '33 HiBoy Coupe, '32 HiBoy Roadster
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnboy View Post
    The sheriff enters the bar "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jack?" he asks.
    "What does he look like?"
    "He wears a brown paper suit, with a brown paper hat, shirt, tie, socks and shoes."
    "What's he wanted for sheriff?"

    "Rustling."
    .....a slap.jpg.....
    Dave Severson, TOW'D and 34_40 like this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  8. #3683
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and school teacher.
    The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
    "Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers and voted for Trump.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  9. #3684
    40FordDeluxe's Avatar
    40FordDeluxe is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Prairie City
    Car Year, Make, Model: 40 Ford Deluxe, 68 Corvette, 72&76 K30
    Posts
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    Blog Entries
    1

    That was almost good.
    Dave Severson, NTFDAY and 34_40 like this.
    Ryan
    1940 Ford Deluxe Tudor 354 Hemi 46RH Electric Blue w/multi-color flames, Ford 9" Residing in multiple pieces
    1968 Corvette Coupe 5.9 Cummins Drag Car 11.43@130mph No stall leaving the line with 1250 rpm's and poor 2.2 60'
    1972 Chevy K30 Longhorn P-pumped 24v Compound Turbos 47RH Just another money pit
    1971 Camaro RS 5.3 BTR Stage 3 cam, SuperT10
    Tire Sizes

  10. #3685
    NTFDAY's Avatar
    NTFDAY is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: '66 Mustang, 76 Corvette
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    From that resume I'd say she voted for Biden
    Ken Thomas
    NoT FaDe AwaY and the music didn't die
    The simplest road is usually the last one sought
    Wild Willie & AA/FA's The greatest show in drag racing

  11. #3686
    rspears's Avatar
    rspears is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: '33 HiBoy Coupe, '32 HiBoy Roadster
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    Yesterday afternoon......
    -
    birdpoo.jpg
    NTFDAY, TOW'D, glennsexton and 2 others like this.
    Roger
    Enjoy the little things in life, and you may look back one day and realize that they were really the BIG things.

  12. #3687
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 34 Ford 3W Coupe Replica
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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... thanks for the smile!

  13. #3688
    34_40's Avatar
    34_40 is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 34 Ford 3W Coupe Replica
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    you know..?? if you close 1 eye and squint the other.. it looks like a tranny! no matter where you live!

  14. #3689
    johnboy is offline CHR Member Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: `47 Ford sedan, A.C.Cobra replica.
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    What do you call a bookworm who can't stop reading about strong female characters?

    A heroine addict.
    NTFDAY likes this.
    johnboy
    Mountain man. (Retired.)
    Some mistakes are too much fun to be made only once.
    I don't know everything about anything, and I don't know anything about lots of things.

    '47 Ford sedan. 350 -- 350, Jaguar irs + ifs.
    '49 Morris Minor. Datsun 1500cc, 5sp manual, Marina front axle, Nissan rear axle.
    '51 Ford school bus. Chev 400 ci Vortec 5 sp manual + Gearvendors 2sp, 2000 Chev lwb dually chassis and axles.
    '64 A.C. Cobra replica. Ford 429, C6 auto, Torana ifs, Jaguar irs.

  15. #3690
    TOW'D is offline CHR Member/Contributor Visit my Photo Gallery
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    Car Year, Make, Model: 1948 Thames E83W- and many others
    Posts
    797

    A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 6:30 after work.
    His wife screams at him while his friend sits and listens in.
    “My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I am still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?”
    Calmly the husband replies, “Because he’s thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo.”
    NTFDAY, johnboy and 34_40 like this.

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