Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said:


In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we
would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) -
bacteria found in feces.



In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or
tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go
through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or
fermenting.


Remember:


Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.


Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of sh*t.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing
it as a public service

A wife takes a lover home during the day while her husband is
at work.
> Her nine year old son comes home early, sees them, and hides
in the bedroom
> closet to watch. Unexpectedly, the woman's husband also comes
home. She puts
> her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is
already in there.
>
> >> The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
>
> >> The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
>
> >> Boy: 'I have a baseball.'
>
> >> Man: 'That 's nice.'
>
> >> Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
>
> >> Man: 'No, thanks.'
>
> >> Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
>
> >> Man: 'OK, how much?'
>
> >> Boy: '$250.'
>
> Weeks later, it happens that the boy and the lover find
themselves in
> the closet again.
>
> >> Boy: 'Dark in here.'
>
> >> Man: 'Yes, it is.'
>
> >> Boy: 'I have a baseball glove'
>
> The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How
> much?'
>
> >> Boy: '$750.'
>
> >> Man: 'Sold.'
>
> A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove,
> let's go? outside and have a game of catch.'
>
> >> The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'
>
> >> The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
>
> >> The boy says '$1,000.'
>
> The Dad says, 'That's terrible to rip off your friends like
> that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm
taking you to
> church, to confession.
>
> In church, the Dad makes sure the boy goes in to the
confessional and
> closes the door.. The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
>
> The priest says, 'Don't start that crap again; you're in
> my closet now.'



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