Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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A man and a woman who had never met before, and were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping car on a Trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.
"Good," she replied. "Get your own f****** blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small Canadian flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'

'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this? The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.' Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'

A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on
'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor
decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman
in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your ass hole is doing
while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.'

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.........

Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache. "

His wife is lying in bed and replies, "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says, "I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."

...were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.'

Amazing - these can actually stop you from getting sleepy behind the wheel.

I got a new set of wiper blades on my car.
I think they might be too long because they hang over the edges a little, but I don't care, they work great. I would have to say that they are the only blades I have ever had that I actually like to watch. It's hard to keep my eyes on the road sometimes but at least I don't get sleepy driving.

Call me crazy, but lately I have been driving around non-stop with them on. I've even been pulled over and the cop asked to go for a ride so he could watch them work.
They were outrageously expensive, but safety is my main concern and like I said, they work great.

Wow!

Originally Posted by RestoRod

Amazing - these can actually stop you from getting sleepy behind the wheel.

I got a new set of wiper blades on my car.
I think they might be too long because they hang over the edges a little, but I don't care, they work great. I would have to say that they are the only blades I have ever had that I actually like to watch. It's hard to keep my eyes on the road sometimes but at least I don't get sleepy driving.

Call me crazy, but lately I have been driving around non-stop with them on. I've even been pulled over and the cop asked to go for a ride so he could watch them work.
They were outrageously expensive, but safety is my main concern and like I said, they work great.

Don't forget about the built-in washer...if you're brave enough to use it.