How to install a home security system
> >
> > 1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
> >
> > 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.
> >
> > 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
> >
> > 4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
> >
> > Hey Bubba,
> >
> >
> > Big Jim, Duke, Slim and I went for more ammunition.
> > Back in an hour.
> > Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.
> > I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
> > Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house..
> > Better wait outside. .....Cooter