Thread: Father Son Project..........NOT.....

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This is a very interesting thread to me and I want to ask a similar but related question... but it will be at the end...

My son Jeff, did take up the passion and loves working on cars. He is now 26, married and living about 30 miles away. When he graduated high school, he wanted to get into autobody work so I sent him to Dunwoody (a private technical college - pretty expensive tuition) for automotive paint and body restoration. I bought him tools and paid for his education. I only had him pay for his books. After a while in the autobody industry he wanted to get into the mechanical end of things. He worked for a friend for a while learning the trade. We would continue to help out and buy him tools off of his wish list. He now works for a Chrysler dealership, getting certified as one of their mechanics. To say that I'm proud of him is an understatement.

Now to my question: There are times when we encounter something on my or my wifes daily driver that is beyond my talents. I'll ask my son for help. My son does engine and mechanical work on the side and charges for his services. After doing some work on replacing a head gasket on my wifes car he asked for payment. Now I know that I kept him from other "things", but I felt like - "haven't I done enough for you?" I don't ask for help all of the time but I may need some of his expertise once in a while. Heck, he uses my heated garage once in a while to work on other peoples cars (leaving me to clean up my tools, shop, etc... after he leaves).

I want some others perspectives on this: Should I just let it go or say something? Should I charge him a shop time when he charges others to fix their cars. It bugs me that I got asked for money to have him help me fix my wifes car... so chime in here and let me know your thoughts..

Jerome

Originally Posted by MRJB1929

This is a very interesting thread to me and I want to ask a similar but related question... but it will be at the end...

My son Jeff, did take up the passion and loves working on cars. He is now 26, married and living about 30 miles away. When he graduated high school, he wanted to get into autobody work so I sent him to Dunwoody (a private technical college - pretty expensive tuition) for automotive paint and body restoration. I bought him tools and paid for his education. I only had him pay for his books. After a while in the autobody industry he wanted to get into the mechanical end of things. He worked for a friend for a while learning the trade. We would continue to help out and buy him tools off of his wish list. He now works for a Chrysler dealership, getting certified as one of their mechanics. To say that I'm proud of him is an understatement.

Now to my question: There are times when we encounter something on my or my wifes daily driver that is beyond my talents. I'll ask my son for help. My son does engine and mechanical work on the side and charges for his services. After doing some work on replacing a head gasket on my wifes car he asked for payment. Now I know that I kept him from other "things", but I felt like - "haven't I done enough for you?" I don't ask for help all of the time but I may need some of his expertise once in a while. Heck, he uses my heated garage once in a while to work on other peoples cars (leaving me to clean up my tools, shop, etc... after he leaves).

I want some others perspectives on this: Should I just let it go or say something? Should I charge him a shop time when he charges others to fix their cars. It bugs me that I got asked for money to have him help me fix my wifes car... so chime in here and let me know your thoughts..

Jerome

Judge Judy would smack him around. I'm 27 and can't imagine charging my parents for anything. Tell him he just knocked off $xxx from what he owes you for tools and he can find his own heated garage too. It sounds like you have been generous thus far and if you felt some money for his time away from paying jobs would be fair that is one thing, but you clearly feel he is taking advantage of you and your wife.

Jerome - don't even be subtle with him. You need to explain the facts of life and what he got from you while growing up to where he is today. Sometimes kids lose 'perspective' on what mom and dad did for them. While he may get upset for a while, he will probably think about what he did and have an "awakening". If not - well then limit or deny him use of the garage. If he is asking you to pay for parts, then do it - but labor, remind him how many times you took him to sports or other activities and you waited. And waited - I know I did. Tough love - not really, but sometimes they need a life's reminder.