HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I?
Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Doberman Pinscher: Leave it out. I prefer to work in the dark...
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheep Dog: I thought it got dark out there, but you know, from under here, it's so hard to tell.
Puli: You know, thees lighteengs appeel to my deep, roMANteek soul. I weell put on a leetle geepsie music for you, my dear. Then maybe we cry a leetle together, no?
Alsatian (German Shepherd): Who turned out the lights?! Nobody move! You're all under arrest.
Junkyard dog: Hey, don't throw away that burned-out bulb. We can use that.
Any cat: You there, Alsatian, get the ladder. Irish setter, fetch the spare bulb. No, not a 60-watt you idiot. 100-watt. Do I have to do everything....?!!!