Thread: the Official CHR joke page duel

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Two youths were arrested in Mexico
One was drinking battery acid and the other was snorting gunpowder.
The Police charged one and let the other off.

new visegrips

Originally Posted by 42K3

Two youths were arrested in Mexico
One was drinking battery acid and the other was snorting gunpowder.
The Police charged one and let the other off.

No offense, but shouldn't it read

The Police charged one and lit the other off.

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
What the heck -They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party
atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in
this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women .

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary,
thus saving even more money. ; I suspect tips would be so good that we
could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked
women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline
industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win- win situation if we handle it right - a golden
opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything
myself?

Bill Clinton

> A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive
> woman waving at him.
> She says hello. He's rather taken back because he
> can't place where he knows
> her from.
>
>
>
> So he says, 'Do you know me?'
>
>
>
> To which she replies, 'I think you're the father
> of one of my kids.'
>
>
>
> Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
> unfaithful to
> his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from
> my bachelor party that
> I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
> watching while your
> partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'
>
>
>
> She looks into his eyes and says calmly,
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries,
but, now we know...

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her
from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework .. you're a pansy.

If you work too hard... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay... this is
exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay... you
should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her... that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you... it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet... it's male indifference.

If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't... you're insensitive.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...
you're a pervert.
If you don't... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape...
you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape... you're vain.
If you don't... you're a slob.

If she has a headache... she's tired.
If you have a headache... you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often... you're oversexed.
If you don't... there must be someone else.

Bottom Line... Men die first because they want to.