Thread: How to raise a delinquent..

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most people are too stupid to see how their actions effect kids.
por ejemplo
We had a rule for my daughter that she couldn't eat or drink anywhere other than in the kitchen. So she was drinking a glass of milk and spilled it on the keyboard.
well, naturally I went out and bought a new keyboard for $17. My daughter was not allowed to use the computer until she paid me $17 (alot for a 6 year old).
Grandma thought this was the most evil thing.... how could I punish her for a "mistake" as such grandma gave my daughter $17.

Wow.... really? so I confiscated the money, put it in my daughter's bank account and bitched out grandma on creating loser kids, and explained to her that THIS is why her other son spent 10 years in prison.

Anyway, you do not spoil a child with too much love. Some people do not understand that loving a child often means you have to let them walk the more difficult path so they can learn things on their own.

Drew

Probably one of the worst things to ever come down the pike was a book titled Baby and Child Care by Dr. Benjamin Spock whose own grandson committed suicide in 1983. I don't believe in book burning, but I might make an exception to that one.

We've had years of small erosions of civility and responsibility that all add up, and if we're honest we each have fallen on at least one occasion.

I see ads for "if you've accumulated more than $10k in credit card charges, we can get your record cleared....yada yada", or in other words there's a Federal Law that says if you're really "good" at racking up credit card bills, you can steal someone else's money to use for trips to Belise, jewelery, and so on, and not pay it back! Great lesson. Or how about, "it's not your fault, you're a victim, it's the fault of (fill in the blank, rich, whites, minories, yada yada). Or "those evil corporations, the rich, your boss, or whomever, that's keeping you down".

Those examples and many more are just piled on a formable mind and indirectly tell them that bad behavior (or what we used to call bad behavior) is acceptable, especially if you can dream up a politically correct excuse.

Now, in a sea of negative stuff we're all sharing, I see some light from time to time. Yesterday we took a little trip to Portland so I could buy some hot rod stuff I don't really need. We stopped for lunch at a fast food place. The two little girls in the next booth had to go potty. This place is on a busy intersection so must get a bunch of transient trade and in response they issue a key at the counter to open the head. So the two little girls go in. A short while later a woman with a couple more little girls comes in the front door and tries the bathroom door only to find it locked. A couple moments later the father in the booth next to us gets up and starts walking toward the bathrooms. He noticed the woman waiting and that his girls had been in there awhile. About half way there he had to stop because his girls came out. But we gave him credit for being both attentive and courteous.

Likewise, again in a restaurant (okay, I've got this thing about eating) a few months ago, there was a kid in a booth a couple away from us that was getting, oh let's call it restless. Mom was all over the situation. She reaches in her bag and pulls out a puzzle, a map of the United States, with the capital cities highlighted. In a few seconds the kid quieted right down as they got involved in putting the puzzle together and his learning the capital names. Very impressive. A short while later we were leaving and I couldn't help but go over and compliment the mother on her attentiveness to others around her, as well as choosing to do something educational to control her kid. She beamed at the acknowledgement. Man....we need more young parents like that. I feel the need to reinforce this kind of good behavior because I'm often just as likely to dress someone down for ignoring their ill behaved little rats (being the shy and retiring sort I am).

There is still hope.

Here's a little story kinda inline with the Topic !

When my youngest son was in High School, he was attending a Private Church Sponsored School and one day the phone at my Office rang and my secretary shouted, Emmett, it's Bo's school.

When I answered, another secretary said "would you hold for Mr. Nameless" and then Mr. Nameless got on the phone and said "your son, Bo, has failed to do the required detention after school and I need your permission to administer corporal punishment" - - - - - for a minute, I was speechless and then I said "are you asking me for permission to whip his A???" - - - and he said "Yes Sir" - - - - then I replied "you are his teacher and are responsible for him during the school day so that gives you complete authority and is what you are being paid for - - - and you don't have to call me for permission - - - - if he has broken the rules and not done what he was told then TEAR HIS A?? UP and be sure and tell him that he has another one coming after I get home"!

In August or September of 1949, I was 6 years old and had just stared the 2nd grade, I was out under a very large oak tree playing with some cars and trucks during recess. Another kid, my age, came along and wiped out a portion of the roads I had built in the dirt. Needless to say I took exception to that and the fight was on. One of the teachers saw the fight and broke it up and escorted both of us to the principals office where we both subjected to a few swats of her paddle. When I got home, I was living with my mother's parents, my grandmother paddled my butt again and when my grandfather got home it was deja-vu all over.
If that scenario was to play out today there would probably be at least three people in jail and the two combatants would probably feel as though they could get away with anything without any penalty.
This, in my opinion, is one of the major things wrong with our society today and it needs to be changed.