Thread: Slice and Dice

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So, last night I'm emptying the dish washer and pick up the silverware tray and
start removing the spoons.....forks....knives....and I'm down to the butcher knife and remove that,
and.......it slips........does a one and a half gainer in the air and, "thunk"....."wang wang wang".
It sticks, perfectly, in the top of my foot. Right in the bone!!!!
Ow...........Ow..........Oh, shit, OW!!!! I'm just standing there with the point of this fuggin butcher knife
sticking out of my foot!!!
After I get over my surprise, I reach down with my right hand and pull it out.........NOT!
OW.........OW!!!!!
Now I'm getting a little panicky. I reach down with both hands and put my right foot over my left foot's
toes and pull, thuck!!!! The knife comes out along with lot's of blood......duh!!!
Well, I put a compress on it and pull it tight and call the Wifie. She says, "you twit"!!!
Call 911.
By this time, it's stopped bleeding, so I don't.

Well, the story doesn't end here......

This morning, I"m out in the shop and I'm drilling a hole in a bracket and I drop the drill.
"Thunk" the bit punctures the top of my right foot.......OW.....OW.........
This time I don't call Wifie.
I can't walk very good now and I guess the car show tomorrow is out of the question.
I keep thinking of that Forest Gump movie where they keep saying, "stupid is as stupid does".
Or, Perhaps it's just Old timers disease.

I guess I'm going down stairs and finish off that bottle of Merlot....

OUCH! with the way your luck is going i would not hold the wine bottle between your legs and use a corkscrew. might puncture something else

too funny

Ouch,dogtag...Im sitting here with BOTH my feet twitching and squirming...I think I can feel it too..then I read Barbs post and nearly laughed..yeah,good idea,but get wifie to open the merlot,,the way your lucks runnin,,,well,say no more ...

What the he77 can a feller say? Oh, sorry you got hurt? Sh^&! Makes my squeezer squeeze way up. Get better, sooner, and be more careful in the future.

I was thinking of the vast number of things I have been stabbed with, or parts of my body impaled on; the funniest was when I was in high school auto machine shop - I poked a screwdriver blade through my hand; the teacher fainted, the lady in the office fainted, but the vice principal kept it together enough to take me to the hospital (such as it was), where my Mom worked. When we walked in, she looked at me and said: "What have you done, this time?"

Dude, I feel your pain but your account of the event was absolutely hysterical!!!

Heal soon and let the wifey put the knives away for a while...

That Olds in the pic is awesome!!