Man o man does that ever sound familiar. While I didn't do the Iraq thing, my job still involved a lot (70-90%) travel. I wont bore anyone with details but....it wasn't nice. I got over it, see my kids regularly - they're adults now and have been remarried for 13 years to a wonderful woman. The last time I spoke to my ex was in Oct 1994 at my daughters wedding where I again suggested she do something unnatural to herself

Your brother has to sit down with his daughter and explain to her what has happened and what will happen. She will get over it with care and love. She might also have to see a counselor, but that is real life. He has to bring it to a head, sling whatever mud has to be slung, then move on with life as soon as possible for his personal well being as well as his daughters. Depending on what state he lives in will determine his max "sentence". And it will be expensive. He has to get the separation agreement worked out ASAP - so she can't change her mind and ask for more. This casts it in iron and is a contract and it is enforced by the laws of the state. I had to fire two crummy money grubbing lawyers before I found fantastic lawyer - the one you all wish for: great looking female and Hispanic and with a snarling tiger demeanor. I have recommended her to a couple of friends - and they too both got out with their sanity and most of their earnings/savings.

Wish him well. Tell him he isn't alone with this problem. Give him a shoulder to lean on as often as he needs to.