Thread: random stuff

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if i were a car i have no doubt
i`d be in a junkyard where i`d be scrapped out
`im covered with dings and bumps and rust
and am easily blown over by the slightest of gusts
my head lamps are blurry sometimes i cant see good
lots of strange noises come from neath my hood
my whitewalls are covered with varicose veins
i roar when i sleep like the sound of two trains
i hope someone finds me and restores me like new
but that may be more than even chip foose can do
so i grow even older with each passing day
waiting for the supreme car maker to take me away

Put some Lynyrd Skynyrd on and sit back and smile, you may be older, but you also have more experience!

Originally Posted by stovens

Put some Lynyrd Skynyrd on and sit back and smile, you may be older, but you also have more experience!

i think i wrote that poem .. it`s been so long since ive` used it .. i may have plagerised it .. anyone else ever read something like that ...

Just now! I was listening to their greatest hits and smiling when I read your post!

sometimes when i try to describe a problem with one of my vehicles to my mechanic he will respond in kind to my symptoms ..
C is for me ( customer )
M is for him ( mechanic )
c - something is loose under the hood
m- something was tightened under the hood
c - left rear tire alomst needs replacing
m-left rear tire almost replaced
c - evidence of something leaking under the hood
m- evidence removed
c-cd player has unbelievable loud buzz
m-buzz set to more believable level
c- cylinder # 6 seems to be missing
m- cylinder # 6 found next to cylinder # 5
c-suspected crack in tailpipe
m-suspect your correct
c-noise in trunk sounds like midget banging with hammer
m - hammer taken away from midget
c - car handles funny
m- car told to straighten up and act right
c - right rear tire hums
m- right rear tire taught to sing

recently a fellow i know from out west dropped by for a visit .. i in an effort to show him some of the famous southern hospitality and genioune freindliness i`ve bragged about took him on a cruise thru some of my favorite tenn backroads ..We rounded a corner and rolled up on an amasing site ..A big black bear was mauling some little fellow who no doubt was from up north by the yankee accent he was yelling with .. Suddenly this ragged old pickup truck came flying up and two big old bubba looking guys jumped out with clubs and beat the bear off the man and shot it to death .Then proceeded to put the bear in the bed of the truck.. my friend was quite impressed by the bravery and kindness shown this little northern fellow by the good ole southern boys .. I assured him all was not as it seemed ..We walked up to the truck and i said "boys" this here fellow is a friend of mine from out west and he`s never been on a bear hunt before .. Y`all gunna be able to save yer bait ? .. they picked up the little yankee .. put him in the truck and said " yep " we`ll hose him off a little and put a few more stitches in him .. he`s good fer another bear or two .. ( seems i cant add a pic )

till sumpthin happens worthy of posting i will share a scenerio i once concocted involving the ten fastest cars in my memory of days gone by ..i wont go into the personal bio of all the people involved but they all were intergal parts of my early hot rodding career ..and i will work my way into proclaiming the baddest car in my mind from that early 70`s thru early 80`s period of living in the fast lane .. the line up
( 1 ) jerry moore ... 70 big block camero .. jerry had older uncles who dragged raced somewhat professionally and jerry got their hand me down parts so he always had fast cars .
( 2 ) claude hicks .. black . 69 428 automatic mustang .. claude was much older than us all and probably the most expierenced streetracer
( 3 ) myself .. 69 440 sixpack super bee .. even though i also had the r code 69 mustang .. the super bee felt faster
( 4 ) paul moore ( jerry`s brother ) 70 440 challenger ... paul was a maniac .. a very mean man
( 5 ) phillip tunstil ( 68 383 plymouth sattelite .. just and uncommanly quick stocker
( 6 ) frankie wilkerson ) white 69 428 mustang .. i knew frankie the least of all .. he later died in a mental home
( 7 ) brent scott ... 70 camero ... usually always with high revving small blocks .. brent was probably the best mechanic of us all
( 8 ) donkey berry .. 69 340 dart swinger .. another non stock small block screamer
( 9 )danny lewis ... 67 455 olds cutlass ... the quickest 60 footer i ever rode in .. he wrapped it around a tree and slung the motor 400 feet up the street .. didnt get a scratch on himself
( 10 ) al bolden ... one of my best buds from the era .. just died a few months ago .. 455 judge .. al went thru more killer cars than just about anybody i knew .. his wife had a 440 4 speed cuda as her daily driver .. his shop was where most of my car building was done.
tomorrow the line up

this is a race i witnessed myself in about 1975.. the others are hypothetical .. donkey in his 340 dart swinger and brent in his small block camero .. i dont have a current pic of the site but it was quite drag central in the day cause it was so easily defended from the law sneaking up on you ..donkey was about the baddest car in southern tenn ( vann town ) and brent was nearly unbeatable in his small block ride ... always claimed to be the original 307 !!!.. best two out of three was set up .. both were four speed cars .. the first run was leaving on a concrete bridge and running a bit up hill for about 3/4 of a 1/4 ..donkey won the first race .. i guess from being a bit lighter .. the second race was on asphalt coming in the opposite direction and headed a bit down hill .. brent won that one by virtue of having a few more horses than donkey ..the third race was started on asphalt at the end of the bridge and donkey more or less went up in smoke giving two out of three to brent .. donkey still has the dart to this day though unrestored and rough .. brent passed away about 7 years ago due to illness .. the other races i will select by blind draw

race # 2 will be paul in his 440 challenger and al in his 455 judge turbo 400 slipomatic . .. i raced paul plenty of times in my r code mustang and he always got me by a fender but we could swap cars and he`d beat me in his car with my mustang by three cars . I did`nt have the super bee yet .. .. does`nt say much for my dragging skills . i never raced al ..they would likely have raced in front of als house .. as i said paul was a crazy man and equally dangerous behind the wheel of a car .. if he couldn`t beat you sometimes he`d try to wreck you .. i rode plenty of miles in als gto and i would say it was plenty strong enuff to defeat paul ..so i`ll give the lap to al ...some of these guys may have met up in real life .. i was`nt always everywhere .. and most had their cars in the same two or three year period ..

.. race # 3 ...this race has claude in his 428 cobra jet Vs phillip in his 383 sattelite .. i saw phillip race about 100 times and most times he won by being just a bit quicker off the line .. having a stout stocker sometimes is a plus .. he rarely spun a tire .. claudes stang was mostly stock as well with the exception of headers and he always would not race without putting on some cheater slicks .. i saw claude beat enuff 440 roadrunners and 396 chevelles ( the most prevelant hot rod of the period ) to know that he could easily dust phillip .. claude by three lengths.. claudes was exactly like this black beauty

this race probably never happened but if it did it would have turned out about this way cause i knew both guys plenty well .. as i said jerry always had fast stuff as he had hand me down racing stuff from his unkles who class raced in some superstock classes in the day .. but jerry`s stuff was thrown together in not always a reliable manner .. he was famous for selling his " race " motors to unsuspecting customers then taking all the speed stuff out and selling junk motors .. .. danny would have jumped jerry out of the hole and jerry would have blown his junk up trying to catch up .. this race to danny in his stout 455 olds ..( once again i cant add a pic )

frankie was a fellow i knew very little about .. but i do remember him racing a friend of mine many times .. jeff had a very potent 340 demon .. jeff was/ is a very meticulous tuner .. he raced stock cars for many years and was always a track champion .. he even stepped up to one of the smaller nascar truck divisions and did well .. i saw a few races of hie on espn .. but anyway in the mid 70`s he was always picking at frankie to run him .. frankie did`nt want to waste his time .. they finally ran and frankie won by the smallest of margin .. jeff spent a few bucks and again they raced .. again the same results .. this went on for about a month even to the point of jeff accusing frankie of cheating ..jumping first and any other reason jeff could think of to lose .. finally frankie told jeff to just step on the gas and go anytime your ready .. i`ll give you a head start .. then frankie lowered the boom and blew jeff away by nearly half track .. he`d been toying with jeff the whole time .. but he didn`t toy with me in my super bee .. he knew it was pretty stout .. but alas he still took me by two cars .. .. now iv`e got to line up the next round and figure who to give the bye run to ..5 cars left..
.. very much like the one i had

if some of you remember there is a girl up the street from me whom is my # 1 hotrod fan .. she`s the reason i do burnouts and cut doughnuts in front of her house .. i finally got a pic of her this past weekend and sadly learned she`s moving away when school is out .. she`s going to north carolina to study law and become an officer .. looks like no more burnouts for her ..

Originally Posted by HOSS429

if some of you remember there is a girl up the street from me whom is my # 1 hotrod fan .. she`s the reason i do burnouts and cut doughnuts in front of her house .. i finally got a pic of her this past weekend and sadly learned she`s moving away when school is out .. she`s going to north carolina to study law and become an officer .. looks like no more burnouts for her ..

She's a cutie; you should find out where she's going to work and do a big burnout in front of her squad car. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll frisk you!

i put the 5 names in a hat and drew brent as the bye runner .. and matched danny in his cutlas with claude in his mach one .. this race very well may have taken place as these guys were from the same era and each had these cars then .. not everybody knew everybody then but it seems i did .. they would most likeky have ran up on stateline road as that`s where claude lived and prefered to race .. then if the alabama law showed up they`d simply move to the tenn side of the road .. as usual claude would have his slicks mounted but even with that he could`nt keep up with the big 455 .. danny had the quickest 60 footer i ever saw .. there was a bridge at hump creek that we would do timed runs on and danny would go end to end or 0 to 60 in about 5 seconds .. i did see danny beat this 429 scj torino several times at miles creek .. danny would also beat claude i `m sure ..
this car still sits where the owner parked it in 1986 before he passed away ,, the widow will not sell it for any price .. it does stay under cover at least .. she let me get some shots of it
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