A friend of mine wrote, "I rode my bicycle to the liquor store yesterday, and picked up a bottle of really nice single malt scotch. Out front, I put the bottle in my bicycle basket, but then thought, 'If I fall off of my bike the bottle will break!', so I drank the entire bottle before heading home, and through the empty bottle in their trash receptacle. It turns out my fears were well placed, because I fell off of the bicycle seven times on the way home!!"

Smart guy!