Okay, I listened to my inner voice and got an entire different distributor (from a different parts store because the tard at Napa refused to believe it was defective). It didn't run right away, but at least this distributor sparks. This car needs 12 degrees of initial timing to even run, so as i turned the dist forward it was more eager. Timed it at 20 with a light. I appear to have some type of flooding problem going on, but I will solve it.
Thanks for all of the input