Friday 11th June.

Departed Maison Goose, and headed for Heathrow via London Central on the underground. Goose had given us instructions as to how the get there (thanks mate!) and by following them we made it with minimum problems…the only real one being unable to work out how to get to the Piccadilly Line station from the Earls Court station…turns out you have to go up one level, walk along a couple of hundred yards, and then go down two levels…but we made it!
Found Heathrow #3 okay too, and the area of correct gate.
Then had to deal with security.
They confiscated my shaving foam first, then my razor blades.
What harm am I going to do with them? Slice through the body of the plane?
“They’re an offensive weapon.” I was told.
Okay; please yourselves.
They also showed an unhealthy interest in my two brass cannon.
“What do they fire?”
Nothing. Just caps from a cap gun. They can’t throw a projectile as such of any sort.
So he broke one to find out.
Sheesh!
And then the flight was delayed forty minutes, finally departing at 11:00 pm.

Landing Hong Kong pretty well exactly twelve hours later at 6:00 pm local time.
They had smoking rooms in the terminal itself; so we were both happy to visit them a couple of times before subjecting ourselves to their security.
They confiscated my sidecutters that I use as fingernail cutters.
You can’t!
“Yes, can. Is tool.”
International Law says a tool has to be longer than four inches or 200 mm before it can be confiscated! (I know that because I took the trouble to fid out after my 4” Crescent spanner got confiscated some time back in Australia.)
“No. Can be $1 or $1000 is still tool.”
It’s not a question of value; it’s a question of size! Know your own laws!
“No. Is still tool. Confiscate.”
sigh.
It’s not worth making a Federal case out of it; and it’s impossible to argue with a fool – they’ll beat you with experience.
They too showed an unhealthy interest in my cannon; but fortunately only in the already damaged one…which they damaged only a wee bit more. (Although I can fix it…the damage is not irreversible if you’ve got the right tools.)
But there’s no consistency; I’ve taken razor blades, shaving foam, and side cutters through security in Australia, the UK. USA and NZ twenty times or more over the years with never any problem.
Until today.
Another sigh.

Found the correct gate, onto the plane and flew out at 9:15 local time, for a flight of just over ten hours to Auckland.
No problems at all with Customs; so shot outside for a catch-up ciggie before looking for our last flight; to New Plymouth and home.
Arrived NP 4:30 pm to find the Rawcliffes waiting for us with our car out in the parking lot.
You wonderful wonderful people!
I love you both!
A quick sortie around town for some tucker, petrol, and head for home.
Arriving on our own doorstep around 6:15 pm.
Where I had a beer in the fridge, my own battered-but-comfy chair, an ashtray on the table beside me, and my long handled back-scrubber hanging from its own hook in the shower!
Yep, you’re right Rrumbler; be it ever so humble…

We’ve had an amazing five weeks; have enjoyed it thoroughly, have seen and learned a helluva lot of interesting sights and things, met some amazing and interesting people too; but by crikey it’s good to be home!

Okay, so that's about it from us, so "Cheers" until next time, and may whatever Gods you worship smile on you!

johnboy and She Who Must Be Obeyed.


Disclaimer: Be aware that the views and opinions expressed by the author of this missive are bloody good ones.