Quote Originally Posted by Bob Parmenter View Post
Robin, these are character building situations that test our mettle. In the past few years we went through similar scenarios twice, first with my bride's mother as she sank down that dark Alzheimer hole, and then with mine as she just wore out. We probably all hurt to watch once vivacious and loving people descend from what we know and love. We feel the guilt of wincing each time the phone rings and for a moment our minds whine...."oh no, now what?" And oh so many more similar feelings. It's all normal, almost everyone experiences it. My mother was a fighter. Life pitched her quite a few high, hard, fast balls, but she never would give up..........always found a way to bounce back. People like that don't give up on life very easily, even in the face of inevitability. Sometimes all they need is your permission to let go.......let them know you'll grieve, but they needn't fight and suffer any longer, it's okay if they give themselves a break. It's not selfish to feel that way, it's actually charitable. In time those agonizing end of days memories grow as insignificant as they should. The fond memories, those silly little moments that make us smile wide, the big important and pride filled ones that give us hope, will all take over in our minds and in a special way those loved ones remain with us as long as we wish.
Bob...You hit that on the head.. It feels like you have been with us through the last few months..Three weeks ago,Mum had a chronic blood condition,bad liver,irritation of the bowel,,leaky heart valve,(still got it),,pleurisy,pneumonia,and to look at her,,we were expecting no more than two or three days left..she knew that my older brother was coming over from Aussie for a week,,and that helped pick her up.. She has told both of us,a few times,that she wants to go,,and i had a little talk to her a couple of weeks back, and told her,that it was her journey,,and to go when she was ready.. There is definitely nothing wrong with her mind..still quite sharp.. just her body has let her down..The feeding tube was removed last week,to which she said..''I didn't mind the tube..I was being nourished without having to eat''..From here,now,it's a waiting game.. Only mum can decide..Meanwhile,,all the boxes that she wanted ticked,,are done.. She knows,,and she is relaxed..Thank you all for the kind thoughts and words.. Will see how this week goes..