This is how it has been at work, longer than I have been there ( 20yrs )
The smoke clique would give each other extra minute or so on breaks. No biggie, never cut into anyone elses time, just each others. But somehow it seemed they were enjoying their day moreso than us non smokers. Supervisors too. Anywho, I did the nono. I got a pack after about 18yrs smoke free!!! I have WASTED soooo much $ in 20yrs that I am too scared to add it up!!! Yes I have times when I could calm nerves, collect thougts, or relax with a cig. !!NOT!!
The " edge " or should I say " last nerve " syndrom rears its ugly head a couple times a day , at verying degrees. Usually it " seems " someone needs something from me or for me to do something. Reality is -- the ONLY thing that changed is I am not feeding the dragon, and I am available to help out more, as I shoul have been before!!
The thing I am realizing is for the most part - Smoking for me was MY TIME FOR ME. No one would tell me what to do or ask anything of me til I went back inside. If I wanted to be left alone for awhile, I would go outside & light up. I had smoked in the house maybe twice in 12yrs. Sorry for the rant. I am seeing similarities between us all in some ways, & realizing some anomolies, which may turn out to be more comon than I // we think they are.