Thread: Voted the best Australian Joke
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05-06-2011 07:58 PM #1
Voted the best Australian Joke
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast.
He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there is a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of police officers, the old Sarge and a younger Constable...
The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.
'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'
The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'
The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. However, after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.
The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'
He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.
'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it is an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?'
'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!'
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05-07-2011 12:20 AM #2
Gee that's an oldie, I thought they'd a got all those crayfish by now
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05-07-2011 05:48 AM #3
HE! HE! HE! I am not sure about that over here, It takes us a little longer to get your jokes over here!!!
Besides I think you maybe talking about his first wife, I think this maybe his second wife now.
HE! HE! HE!
Kurt
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05-07-2011 11:22 AM #4
Ya know Echnidna;
HE! HE! HE! I thought this joke might have been in bad taste, but I figured I would send it out anyway.
That’s just in case any fisherman here wanted to know what they use for fishing bait there in Australia.
Hey I'm just wondering Echnidna, How many times can you use the same bait???
Kurt
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05-07-2011 12:33 PM #5
That could easily pass for a Cajun Joke, Kurt !.
" I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "
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05-07-2011 01:07 PM #6
Kurt,that depends on the bait... I,too,heard that one a year or two back..There are so many good jokes down here that drift front one side of the ditch[Tasman Sea]to the other..We could almost start an Aussie/Kiwi joke page...It would probably end up as a sheep sharing[shearing] free for all though...Micah 6:8
If we aren't supposed to have midnight snacks,,,WHY is there a light in the refrigerator???
Robin.
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05-07-2011 01:17 PM #7
There is another black joke to rival that one...
A young station hand calls in to his boss one day,while he is out the other side of the cattle station,[40000acres]and says...Boss,I just run over a pig,and its squealin its stupid bloody head off,,what should I do??The boss picks up the R/T and says,you know what to do..grab the .303 off the rack in the back of the cab of the Landcruiser,and put a bullet through his head...what are ya?dumb??A few minutes later,the radio crackles again,and the farm hand says...Yeah..done that,boss,,but I need a bit of help still...I cant get his damn motor bike out from under the bullbars......Micah 6:8
If we aren't supposed to have midnight snacks,,,WHY is there a light in the refrigerator???
Robin.
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05-07-2011 03:51 PM #8
Now see I don't get that one, lamin8er.
I am taking it that the pig was some kind of motor cycle ridder,Right!!!
Kurt
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05-07-2011 04:24 PM #9
here in the South USA it was some Kaintuck hillbillys that saw their first motorcycle rider and the punch line was "Did you get'em Pa - - - Nope but I made him turn loose of that Feller in the leather jacket".
" I'm drinking from my saucer, 'cause my cup is overflowed ! "
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05-07-2011 05:00 PM #10
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05-07-2011 05:00 PM #11
pigs is slang for cops
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05-08-2011 02:05 PM #12
Oh my goodness!!!!
Welcome to CHR. I think that you need to hook up your vacuum advance. At part throttle when cruising you have less air and fuel in each cylinder, and the air-fuel mixture is not as densely packed...
MSD 8360 distributor vacuum advance