Thread: It's my time to take care of dad

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Bob thank you I know I am not alone.

Big truck driver I think about that daily do enjoy him.

Francis true one thing after another just part of life.

Youther thank you had a good laugh you won't belive this I know some of the people staying at the senior housing apts they have offered to take dad to the bar they come down once a day and have a few just have to watch out they don't get into trouble.

Any way thanks guys will get my dad set up just a hard adjustment but making good progress

As someone who is now getting up in age, I can really appreciate what your Dad is feeling. It is tough to find you are on the downhill side of life, and all the things you once had are slipping away.

You have to understand that he was once the head of his household, and was the strength everyone else looked to. Now he is in the position of having to have others make decisions for him and do things for him that he once did. Simple things like getting in your car and going to the store are now taken away because someone, either the State or family, decides that you are no longer fit to operate a car. Health starts to fade, and every day becomes more and more of a challenge to get through without being ill or injuring yourself.

Just imagine if you were suddenly put into this position. I know it will be tough on you, and you are going to have to make changes in your life. One thing you may face is having to deal with a spouse who does not relish the idea, however, he is blood, and she is not. This is payback time for all the diapers he changed on you, all the school plays he attended, and all the lessons he took the time to teach you. I think it is very admirable that you are stepping up to the plate and doing the right thing.

There will be times when it is tough, older people start being difficult. Some of that comes from the internal anger they feel about simply getting older. But when the day comes when he is no longer here, you will have a clear conscience and won't ever have to feel guilty about "I should have done more."

My ex-Girlfriend was a perfect Daughter to her Mom, right up to the end. I watched how she looked after her Mom and made sure we would spend time with her and look after her needs. I learned a lot from the way she did that.

Good luck, and yes, it is ok to vent and have some of the feelings you are having.

Don

My Wife's Grandfather was 89-he was a Racing Horse Trainer/Owner by trade, and was getting on in Years (stubborn to boot)-he lived alone and her Father tried to get him to move closer to him (in Nebraska)-he would not do it, so, one Weekend we showed up at his place (In Idaho) and talked him into moving closer to us (he would NOT move in with us)-that was kind of good because he was a cantankerous old guy (if you've ever been around the Race Horse business they are some tough guys, and I learned some cuss words that I didn't know existed). He was a character, and gave my Boys "nicknames"-all in good fun, but I can't write them here or I would be banned.

Anyway, we found him a House about a mile from us and moved him in-we purchased a Wheelchair, and either my Wife or I(mostly my Wife) would take him for a "roll" every day around the neighborhood (we would be there multiple times every day)-they became a lot closer, but after a Year or two it was taking it's toll on us as we also had three Boys at Home at the time.

Anyway, he was beginning to have some real trouble taking care of himself (he also wanted to be alone), but we talked him into a Care Center-at first he said he didn't like it, but later on it appeared to me that he really felt at Home with people to talk to and interact with-

mark, I think you are doing the right thing!