Thread: Think before you speak.... too funny!

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7 KINDS OF SEX

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when
you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are Blue in the
face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been
with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have
sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been
with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you
usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been
with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway
you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in
the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex: This is when you cannot stand your
wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security
Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.

A guy goes into the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at
him and she says hello. He's rather taken back, because he can't place
where he knows her from. So he says,"Do you know me?" To which she replies," I
think you are the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to
his wife and says," My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that
I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner
whipped my butt with wet celery ???"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No I'm your son's math teacher."