One day back when Mike was quick of mind and long on stamina he walked out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches,

"Can I help you, sir?"

"Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!" Mike replies.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasssh right here at the end of thisssh key!" Mike replies, logically, if a bit too literally.

About this time the cop looks down to see that Mike's business is hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. The cop asks him, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Mike looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "OHHH Sssssshit ... They ssshtole my girlfriend too!!!"