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Dennys new breakfast combo

Dennys is now offering a new breakfast combo called the octomom breakfast.

It includes 8 eggs, no sausage, and the person sitting next to you gets to pay for it.

I was depressed last night so I called "Lifeline."
Got a call center in Pakistan.
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

A letter to my bank.

Dear Sirs,

In view of what seems to be happening internationally with banks at the
moment, I was wondering if you could advise me. If one of my checks is
returned...

A boy looks out the window of the airplane he was on, turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"


...

In honor of the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal called the “Suleman”…



You get fourteen eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill.

Photo on the night stand

After a long night of making love,
the guy notices a photo of another man,
on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?'
he...

Government job

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.


The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'

He replies, 'Yes - caffeine.'

Understanding the stimulus Bill

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?"

The...

Why Parents Drink

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent one day but had not phoned in sick . Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers...

New Orleans Crabs...



A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of
frozen crabs and asked a blonde,female crew member to
take care of the box for him. She took the box and...

Three Rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie.


As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes...

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man,...

baptizing a drunk..............

> A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

> The drunk walks into the water and...

Sex in the Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt...

Medical Alert

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly
contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by
hand, and even electronically....

A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've
>
> been having all these years? Well, they're gone.'
>
> 'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened?'
>
>...

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer neglige' for his wife. He is shown
several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. ...

The German Shepherd, the Monkey and the Leopard‏

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before to0 long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading...

Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.All the typical answers came up - Fireman, Truck Driver, Salesman, etc.

Johnny was...

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new
store.

As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, 'I bet any...

A wife takes a lover home during the day while her husband is
at work.
> Her nine year old son comes home early, sees them, and hides
in the bedroom
> closet to watch....

I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl the other day. I asked
her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she replied, "I want to
be President!"

"If you were President what would...

Cowboy Honeymoon

A cowboy and his wife had just been married and went to a hotel for their honeymoon. The man went to the front desk and asked for a room.

He said, "This here is a very...

Redneck word of the day.............................

Harassment

My girlfriend caught me in bed with another girl, but I swear herassment nothing to me.

Dr's dilemma

Doctor John had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.

No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was...