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Type: Posts; User: Yellow72

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  1. Replies
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    Little Red Wagon

    A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed
    a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and
    a garden hose tightly coiled in...
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    Irish Viagra

    An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido.

    'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

    'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even...
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    Happy St Patricks finale

    A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church , enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

    The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there.
    ...
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    Happy St Patricks V

    Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

    He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?'

    She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My...
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    Happy St Patricks IV

    Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

    'Brenda, may I come in?' he asks. 'I've somethin' to tell ya'.

    'Of course you can come in, you're...
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    Happy St Patricks III

    An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

    A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to...
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    Happy St Patricks II

    Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp.
    ...
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    Happy St Patricks

    Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen...
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    Staff firings

    It has just been reported that the head gardener at the White House has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal service to many US presidents. When interviewed the gardener protested his innocence and...
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    Best of the year

    A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, 'Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country,...
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    Jehovah's Witness Deterrent

    Jehovah's Witness Deterrent
  12. Replies
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    Gynecological Plastic Surgery

    A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a...
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    Circle flies

    A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer...
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    Too lonely

    A fellow checked into a hotel on a business trip recently and was a bit lonely so he thought he'd get one of those girls you see advertised in the phone book under 'Escorts and Massages'.

    He...
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    Blonde at School

    A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy,
    Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all
    the other kids could only count to four, but I counted
    to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7,...
  16. Replies
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    Three friends...

    ...from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?'

    Artie said: 'I would like them...
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    Don't forget about the built-in washer...if...

    Don't forget about the built-in washer...if you're brave enough to use it. :whacked:
  18. Replies
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    Two blond girls

    ...were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then...
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    Voted Best Joke in Australia

    Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache. "

    His wife is lying in bed and replies, "I think you'll find...
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    Dear Abby

    I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. I've witnessed the usual signals; the phone rings, but if I...
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    Fox hunting picture

    Fox hunting picture
  22. Replies
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    First Christmas funny

    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
    "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get...
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    deep snow trouble

    deep snow trouble
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    My point exactly

    An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly
    check-up...

    The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
    86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

    I now...
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    Before I die

    Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that
    the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.

    Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
    Naturally, she agrees, so...
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