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Many of us remember “fondly” (not!) using the Outhouse. Oh, those were the “good old days!”

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the...

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it...

Blind Clerk

A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was...

The raise

Employee:
Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?

Boss:
Sure, come on in… What can I do for you?
Employee:
Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for...

Number of physicians in the US = 700,000
Accidental deaths caused by physicians/year =120,000.
Accidental deaths/physician = 0.171

Number of gun owners in US = 80,000,000
Number of accidental...

A local fella on his way to a meeting is driving down this country lane. He spots a rabbit on the edger of the road. Just as he is about to pass he is shocked to observe the rabbit hop into his path....

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box
under the bed. You must promise never to look in it."

In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the...

Me too, Robin, but you have to understand the current American political disaster. Wont say more or Bill will again chastise me for stepping out of bounds ;={ .

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates...

Guys, just picture this one

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my...

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a...

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him...

I can believe that since I just read yesterday that there is only a 7% 8th grade ability in reading, therefore spelling skills in the schools.

"....the Department of Education says that in the...

Can you imagine the nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you...

This of course, does NOT apply to any of us:whacked::



One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,...

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun...

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.




Because I'm a man, when the...

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..
He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
...

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks,
'What kind of car ya got there,...

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My...

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical
All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at...

Gander Tower : "Syrian Air 511 -- You are cleared to land on runway 9R."
Syrian Air : "Thank you Gander . Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
- Allah be Praised."

Gander Tower : "...

Yep!! It was done just right for me. I used to eat my cow just warmed through enough to make sure that with a bit of care it couldn't recover, but after a few scares with tainted beef, decided to...

I had a very nice chunk of cow this evening and last night, a slab of salmon - 'Tasty' they were:LOL::LOL::LOL::LOL: Guess that makes me a member of the real P.E.T.A.

Which reminds me - saw this today: PETA wants sign to memorialize dead fish | sign, fish, letter - News - The Orange County Register

"PETA wants sign to memorialize fish killed in crash

An...