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And after spending the last two weeks in Scotland, I can attest that this is their version of 'soul food' and is to be enjoyed regularly along with a pint or several of 70 or 80p suds - Skullsplitter...

Didn't Know That.. not really jokes, but interesting stuff


Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?
A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called...

I rear ended a car a few days ago...I tell you, It was a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said,...

Italian Boy's Confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a week since my
last Confession, here is my sin: I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you,...

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your...

Tennessee Ten Commandments

Some people in Tennessee have trouble with all those "shalts" and "shalt nots" in the Ten Commandments. Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So, some folks...

THE LOVE STORY OF JIM AND EDNA

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have .....

Jim and Edna were both patients in a...

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the
wonders...

The Female Genie

While trying to escape through Pakistan , Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the beach and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said,...

These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down
and now published by court reporters who had the torment...

The Tomato Garden


An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his
tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His
only son, Vincenzo, who used to...

Have you met some of these folks lately?:LOL:


I walked into a Quizno's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon
for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a
little chalkboard...

Why, Why, Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know that there is not enough...

An Irishman moves into a tiny village in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly...

Comments made in the year 1955(That's only 52 years ago:whacked: !):


"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for...

A man walked into a very high-tech restaurant in a fancy hotel.
As he waited to be seated, he noticed that the Maitre D' was a robot.

The robot clicked to attention and said, "Sir, there is a...

A mother is driving her 7 year-old daughter to her friend's house for a play date when the little girl asks "Mommy," how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the...

Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously:
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. ...

Here's some good(?) advice for you next plane trip. (Well, some "advice," anyway)

HOW TO HANDLE IRRITATING SEAT-MATES
If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train...

Subject: Pilot's complaints

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the...

THE LOVE DRESS

A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to
see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally...

O-w-w-w Don't I remember that - dam'!! It still hurts now that you made me recall those times. My psychologist wife and daughter #2 would tell me that my repressed memories have returned. OUCH.

Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds,...

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less...

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