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A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally , it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants...

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without...

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he...

A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the...

A bit of a long read, but our midwest members will relate. I'm still laughing!

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:

Moved to North Dakota this fall. We heard that summers are fun and winter is beautiful....

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,...

Perks of reaching 60 or being over 70 and heading towards 80…
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first
3. No one expects you to...

Not hotrod related but I'm sure other can relate. Sure glad I had the GI Bill and was able to pay as I attended college.

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog....

APHORISMS (a pithy observation that contains a general truth)

It’s not whether you win or lose,
But how you place the blame.

We have enough "youth".
How about a fountain of "smart"?

A Fool...

TWELVE COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS


#1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice

#2 - "In Style" are the clothes that still fit.

#3 - You don't need anger management. You...

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into...

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a...

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up...

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate...

Not at all related to cars - but this gave me a lot of smiles! If you're old enough to remember some of these actors and actresses, this will make you laugh. Enjoy!...

And now for some St. Patrick's day humor...

One night, Mrs. McMillen answers the door to see her husband’s best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.

“Hello Paddy, where is my husband? He...

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes...

In a recent study it was found that women who put on a few pounds live ten years longer than men who tell them about it.

An Air Force fighter pilot found himself at a gala event hosted by a local (strictly women's) liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of...

An elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was...

There was a small seminary in New England that specialized in training pastors for churches in small, rural towns. There was a student named Tom who came from a large metropolitan city area. Tom...

A big city New York lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an...

I don’t mean to be a grinch however.... to those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, would you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together?
...

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that...