So I guess I'll chime in now as this hits pretty close to home.....literally....

I have kind of a similar situation with my Firebird. I have neither the facilities nor a lot of the tools to accomplish the build on my own. When I first got the car I made an agreement with my Dad to build the car, since he has everything needed and then some minus the parts for the actual car.

I told him that I expected him to charge me exactly like he would anybody else. He's charging me $25.00 an hour plus expenses, and I'm damn happy with that; because I know the kind of work I'm getting for my money, I don't think anybody else would put as much care into it for that price. So I feel like I'd come out ahead on this deal everytime.

I also told him that I only wanted him to work on the car for what I'd already paid for. In other words once a given amount of cash I had given him has run out, I asked him to not work on it anymore at all until I can send more money to pay for it. I did this because I don't ever want this build to make him feel like I screwed him out of his time. I'll also know by doing this that the day I drive it away, I'll owe him nothing else for it. I also gladly pay storage at his shop during the times that I don't have large sums of money to throw at it to make progress, and it gets moved off to the side while I gather more money to send.

Since I'm not made of money, I don't expect him to work on it whenever there is another money making project in his shop because I feel that would be unfair of me.

So far, I know that we've both been pretty happy with the arrangement. He doesn't feel like I'm taking advantage of him because he's "dad" and I know I'll be happy with the finished product, especially at the price that I'm getting it for.

I say all of this because he and I are family, I have the utmost respect for him, and this is how we are treating it. If your "friend" expects you to not charge him labor and tries to tell you what you can build it for.....well, I can tell you that it sounds to me like he is really trying to take advantage of you and maybe he only really wants to "be your friend" so that he can get something out of it. I don't know him, and that may be an unfair assesment; but, I'd never expect a friend or family member to do something for me for nothing in return. I feel that would be extremely disrespectful and it's just not the type of guy I ever want to be.

I'll give you another example of what I mean by this....My dad has a friend, Joe, that runs a pretty successful body shop, when I was looking at buying new fenders, qtr panels, hood, etc. for the car, I had him order the stuff through his business so that I could take advantage of a pretty significant discount, close to about $400.00 that he got from them on my stuff because of all the business he does with them. Joe didn't ask for it or expect it; but, when I wrote him the check for it all, I split the savings that I got with him. I had used his business to save money, and so I felt it only right to kick a little back his way since he'd done me a favor.

Maybe some folks would think that I'm stupid with my money; but, I'll tell you what, I've never lost any sleep over any decision I've ever made when it comes to dealing with my friends. There are "friends" that I have had that I would never do business with again, and all of them fit the profile you described in your post. I guess that's just it, I personally, never want to fit that profile.

Cheers,
Dutch