Thread: What the heck!

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Rhetorical;
I was hoping someone would see it and understand why they go to other forums for their answers.
We are what's wrong, we are the reason. Look at any of the current posts to see it.
We have stopped helping and become wrongsayers and lecturers. We have become the father that can not teach without belittling and proving others wrong. We no longer appreciate what others have to say, instead we lecture on how wrong they are. We no longer lead with wisdom, we expect others to follow just because.
We have become old and if we do not change our current path of thinking we will soon become extinct, the same as many generations before us have.
In short, we need to once again lead, not condemn. We need to help solve problems, not tear them apart. We need to stop arguing amongst ourselves. We need to once again remember, it's not what we say, but how we say it. It's time to look in the mirror.
In other words, just be kind, it's so easy.
I'm reluctant to post this, as some may read it the wrong way. Not meant to be disrespectful...

Originally Posted by 36 sedan

Rhetorical;
I was hoping someone would see it and understand why they go to other forums for their answers.
We are what's wrong, we are the reason. Look at any of the current posts to see it.
We have stopped helping and become wrongsayers and lecturers. We have become the father that can not teach without belittling and proving others wrong. We no longer appreciate what others have to say, instead we lecture on how wrong they are. We no longer lead with wisdom, we expect others to follow just because.
We have become old and if we do not change our current path of thinking we will soon become extinct, the same as many generations before us have.
In short, we need to once again lead, not condemn. We need to help solve problems, not tear them apart. We need to stop arguing amongst ourselves. We need to once again remember, it's not what we say, but how we say it. It's time to look in the mirror.
In other words, just be kind, it's so easy.
I'm reluctant to post this, as some may read it the wrong way. Not meant to be disrespectful...

Here are my thoughts from a Newbies point of view (no ill thoughts or disrespect intended). You asked the question so I thought I would let you know what is going through the mind of a new poster (someone who was very excited at first to join the group and participate in the discussions with the goal of hopefully expanding my knowledge of Hot Rodding).

Here is a little information about me. I am 45 years old and fairly new to HotRod Community. I have always enjoyed cars my whole life. The first car I built was a 1966 Mustang Coupe that I build when I was in college. I kept that car for many years but ended up having to sell it for my family. Even though I sold the car I always missed having something to work on. Now that I am older and at a point in my life that a car project is more feasible, I was finally able to get back into it. My next project (started last year) was a 1985 CJ7 that I did a frame off restoration on. Once that project was complete I figured out that it wasn’t really the type of project that I wanted to keep so I sold it for my current project which is my 1937 Plymouth Coupe. I am a very hands on type of person and I have basic knowledge (not extensive at all) of cars and engines. When I don’t know how to do something I normally either ask one of my Friends (who have a very good knowledge of cars), buy a book and read up, or I turn to the internet (YouTube, Forums, etc). OK enough about me and here are my thoughts.

When I joined Club HotRod I really didn’t know what to expect. My plan was to share my experience of building the 37 Coupe through a build log and pictures. I assumed that there would be some people on here that might even have built a similar HotRod and I would be able to get help in finding parts and ideas. Believe me this project is bigger than anything I have even attempted before and I have a lot of questions on how things are built or done. For most items I have a basic premise of what needs to happen but I don’t necessary have the knowledge to do it yet (but I will learn and I will figure it out).

My first post was in the Newbie section to introduce myself (because that is what you are supposed to do and I wanted to follow the proper etiquette). I then moved directly to my Build Log. Once I got to the point in my build log about my engine it became evident very quickly that this is a very popular subject here. I quickly received a lot of advice and directions from people some of which was over my head. I am not complaining or faulting anyone but please look at this from my point of view.

I have only been here a very short time. I have never met any of you. I have never really spoken to any of you. I don’t know anything about anyone on this forum. I don’t know if you are truly an expert in your field or just a blow hard. I don’t know the amount of experience you have. I don’t know really anything about you or your knowledge. I am a Newbie remember.

I do know that what I have completed to date (on my engine) is not what you would do. I have been told this in many different ways (some very nice, some harder to swallow). I have even been told that the other people I trust (who I know very well and I know the level or their knowledge and their capabilities) are wrong. I have been told my thoughts are silly. I have basically been told that my engine (which is 90% complete) is a very bad set up and won’t work for what I need. Please don’t get me wrong I am not complaining about the help you are trying to give me and you very well may be correct. Although remember I don’t know anything about you or your talents and have I have just called out in a public forum on my lack of knowledge by a complete stranger to me.

Next thing that goes through my mind is do I want to continue here with my build log. I wonder if I am good enough/knowledgeable enough at Hotrods to post here. Maybe I am over my head with you folks. Will my lack of knowledge be embarrassing again?

Anyways just the thoughts here of a Newbie wanting to join the club.

Originally Posted by mprevo

I have only been here a very short time. I have never met any of you. I have never really spoken to any of you. I don’t know anything about anyone on this forum. I don’t know if you are truly an expert in your field or just a blow hard. I don’t know the amount of experience you have. I don’t know really anything about you or your knowledge. I am a Newbie remember.

I have selected the above paragraph from your entire post for a specific reason, that being that it may be the singular most important comment. Which is not to demean any of the rest of your post.....it's a gem in it's entirety. For the existing members, regardless of their length of tenure, there's a valuable lesson or two in there. We are not a known entity to a newb and must earn our stripes regardless of what we or others know of us from our past here. That being said, the newb has to demonstrate a willingness to learn from the advice they claim they seek. As you can tell from the bulk of the commentary above, that's seemingly not the norm. Personally, I'm sanguine with that as it's human nature as I've come to know it in my near 70 years.

If I were to play Uncle to you my advice would be that you're experiencing life here just as you do in the face to face world. You're always going to encounter people who don't agree with you, what you've come to believe, and what you have heard from those you trust and know better. That doesn't mean their opinion is invalid, but it does put the onus on you to establish context if you want to continue to participate (which I would add here I would encourage you to do as you show promise as a valued contributor..........I mean that, it's not just gratuitous.....I don't do insipid flattery well). Some of the folks who have "come on strong" on your build log are folks I've known and respect for a good number of years. Only the moderator Bill has been an active poster on this forum longer than me as we both signed on the first week Brent started it. That gives me no special privilege, just a statement to stipulate that I've seen a lot come and go here, for what that's worth. Of those others who've expressed their opinion, perhaps stronger than you feel comfortable with, I disagree on some aspects of build choices, while agreeing on others. That doesn't affect our friendship on this forum as I've come to know where they fall, usually, on either side of any given line. It's what we all do with folks in our lives, we make allowances if there's enough else of value in the relationship.

So........please, if you wish, give it a bit more time, learn who's who in our zoo, figure out who you can communicate with, and who you can't, or can less so. You've probably got enough life experience to recognize that you'll very likely run into the same experience elsewhere. Your signature line reflects on your ability to gain wisdom...........and a positive reflection on your sense of humor. We can always benefit from that.

EDIT: I see you added a post as I was uploading my commentary...............never mind.