Where am I today??

Yup,,strange way to start a thread..
To be really honest,,I don't know where to start..I haven't been around much,,as you guys have probably noticed..
About late August,last year,my elderly mother had a fall,and ended up in hospital.. Then,two or three days later,,another.. that's when she INSISTED on being taken to hospital,,and after tests,etc,and x rays,,found she had a fractured wrist,from the fall three days earlier.. Things went down hill from there,as,while she was in there getting a bity of respite care and re hab with her wrist,she picked up a flu like virus,,and was in hospital for several weeks..Things were up and down for sometime,and because she has started to decline in her health as well,,things went from bad to worse..It's a very long story,of which I won't bore you too much,but,,I am pleased to say that yesterday,she was assessed for a rest home,,hospital care,,24/7,,and is moving in there tomorrow.. We have spent many hours travelling to visit her,,in fact,probably five out of the last seven weekends,and parts of working weeks,to sort out her affairs,and visiting,,and,,no,,she will not move to where we live..She wants to stay
where she is..
I can only hope that she settles into the rest home now,and gets some good care,and hopefully will meet a few new friends,too..I will be around for a few days this week,guys.. ;)

Thoughts and Prayers, as always, for you, Lynda and the Family.
Be strong and take care of yourselves 'cause this can really take it's toll, if you're not careful.

Em

Hang tough Robin, when our loving parents get to that age they deserve a lot of our care. It can be rough at times, but it is the process it seems. In lighter moments I think of it as payback for all the attention demanding care we put them through when we were babies................that circle of life thing.

Your title made me think that we were going to be in some kind of "Where's Waldo?" guessing game? Yep, being a primary care giver can be an emotional roller coaster, and every case is unique. Hopefully your mother accepts that she's where she needs to be, has the mind set of making the best of the new situation, and you and Lynda can get a break from the 24/7 stress.

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Originally Posted by Bob Parmenter

Hang tough Robin, when our loving parents get to that age they deserve a lot of our care. It can be rough at times, but it is the process it seems. In lighter moments I think of it as payback for all the attention demanding care we put them through when we were babies................that circle of life thing.

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Yep, circle of life, indeed, Uncle Bob.


Robin, you and yours will be in my thoughts.

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Originally Posted by Bob Parmenter

Hang tough Robin, when our loving parents get to that age they deserve a lot of our care. It can be rough at times, but it is the process it seems. In lighter moments I think of it as payback for all the attention demanding care we put them through when we were babies................that circle of life thing.

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Thanks,Bob.You are right.. We have had good times,bad times.. it's a difficult story,really,,which I won't go into,,but we have had our moments.. it has made us all tearful,going through this..None more so than me,as I have watched the quick decline in her health,over the space of several weeks,this year.. She has told both myself,and my older brother,who flew in from Brisbane,last Wednesday,that she has had enough,and wants to go.............

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Originally Posted by rspears

Your title made me think that we were going to be in some kind of "Where's Waldo?" guessing game? Yep, being a primary care giver can be an emotional roller coaster, and every case is unique. Hopefully your mother accepts that she's where she needs to be, has the mind set of making the best of the new situation, and you and Lynda can get a break from the 24/7 stress.

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Thats the hard part,Roger.. She does not want to leave the hospital,at all.. Unfortunately for her,,she has no choice..We are all hoping that she fits in well,with very few complaints..it's a nice room,with a garden view..We will be kept up to date over the next week by the nursing staff,thankfully..We are hoping that the situation will get better,for all concerned.. These last several weeks have been indeed exhausting for both of us..

Robin, these are character building situations that test our mettle. In the past few years we went through similar scenarios twice, first with my bride's mother as she sank down that dark Alzheimer hole, and then with mine as she just wore out. We probably all hurt to watch once vivacious and loving people descend from what we know and love. We feel the guilt of wincing each time the phone rings and for a moment our minds whine...."oh no, now what?" And oh so many more similar feelings. It's all normal, almost everyone experiences it. My mother was a fighter. Life pitched her quite a few high, hard, fast balls, but she never would give up..........always found a way to bounce back. People like that don't give up on life very easily, even in the face of inevitability. Sometimes all they need is your permission to let go.......let them know you'll grieve, but they needn't fight and suffer any longer, it's okay if they give themselves a break. It's not selfish to feel that way, it's actually charitable. In time those agonizing end of days memories grow as insignificant as they should. The fond memories, those silly little moments that make us smile wide, the big important and pride filled ones that give us hope, will all take over in our minds and in a special way those loved ones remain with us as long as we wish.

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Originally Posted by Bob Parmenter

Robin, these are character building situations that test our mettle. In the past few years we went through similar scenarios twice, first with my bride's mother as she sank down that dark Alzheimer hole, and then with mine as she just wore out. We probably all hurt to watch once vivacious and loving people descend from what we know and love. We feel the guilt of wincing each time the phone rings and for a moment our minds whine...."oh no, now what?" And oh so many more similar feelings. It's all normal, almost everyone experiences it. My mother was a fighter. Life pitched her quite a few high, hard, fast balls, but she never would give up..........always found a way to bounce back. People like that don't give up on life very easily, even in the face of inevitability. Sometimes all they need is your permission to let go.......let them know you'll grieve, but they needn't fight and suffer any longer, it's okay if they give themselves a break. It's not selfish to feel that way, it's actually charitable. In time those agonizing end of days memories grow as insignificant as they should. The fond memories, those silly little moments that make us smile wide, the big important and pride filled ones that give us hope, will all take over in our minds and in a special way those loved ones remain with us as long as we wish.

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Bob...You hit that on the head.. It feels like you have been with us through the last few months..Three weeks ago,Mum had a chronic blood condition,bad liver,irritation of the bowel,,leaky heart valve,(still got it),,pleurisy,pneumonia,and to look at her,,we were expecting no more than two or three days left..she knew that my older brother was coming over from Aussie for a week,,and that helped pick her up.. She has told both of us,a few times,that she wants to go,,and i had a little talk to her a couple of weeks back, and told her,that it was her journey,,and to go when she was ready.. There is definitely nothing wrong with her mind..still quite sharp.. just her body has let her down..The feeding tube was removed last week,to which she said..''I didn't mind the tube..I was being nourished without having to eat''..From here,now,it's a waiting game.. Only mum can decide..Meanwhile,,all the boxes that she wanted ticked,,are done.. She knows,,and she is relaxed..Thank you all for the kind thoughts and words.. Will see how this week goes..:cool:

My thoughts and prayers for you, Lynda and your mom. There are a lot of us in this position with loved ones who are growing old and just not up to the task of caring for themselves. My mother is the only remaing parent for Joanie and me and it's hard to watch what I know to be a certain decline in her health - labored breathing and lots of joint pain.

Know that you've got lots of support from this side of the world and we all understand that sometime the hot rods go on hold for a bit as there's other pressing priorities.

Watching your six,
Glenn

What can I say Lammy? All the most eloquent have already used all the words that seem to fit best. But I too am going through this path with my Mom and Chris' . My M-I-L doesn't even remember me and can only stare in fear while I'm in the room. I expect the same for my Mom..

Getting old sucks and we all get a turn!

Just know we feel your pain and am keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Oh, tell your Mom all the gang here at CHR send a big hello and we wish her well too!

Robin asked me to read what he wrote about my MIL and so I read your words of support as well. I am feeling so overwhelmed by your brotherhood and those comments are putting words in my heart that will help sustain us through the next few weeks or however long this journey takes. Thank you so much. It helps to know we are not alone as long as we have friends like you all. Much respect and love from me. Blessings, Lynda :):):)

I wish you and your family the best of luck and I'll keep your mom and oyu all in my prayers. My mom's mom, my grandmother, has alzheimer's and dimentia. It is not a good ordeal. To top it off my grandfather is being a real gem about it and I swear he has it too. My mother is having one heck of a time with her younger sister who wants to call all the shots. It is just such a bad deal and hard to deal with. But, if you don't deal with it, who will? That's waht I tell my mother when she's put out. The worst part is, grandma has no say and the care she gets is not great. Anyway, keep at it and I hope things turn out as great as they can be!

One of the toughest things in life to deal with.

Robin, not to pry but wondering how things are going with your mom? Know that you've been on line some, from tracks on FB. You have several people who care here.

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Originally Posted by rspears

Robin, not to pry but wondering how things are going with your mom? Know that you've been on line some, from tracks on FB. You have several people who care here.

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No,Roger,,you aren't prying..This is the first time I have been able to get on here,for various reasons,since last week.. Mum is doing very well,thank you.. She is settling into the rest home quite well,although there has been a bit of confusion over the room,,and we inadvertantly okayed the wrong one.. oops.. Hopefully,when one becomes available on the sunny side of the complex,we can shift her into it.. When you consider,that only four weeks ago,,the hospital staff moved her into a private room,so the family could spend time with her before she passed,,she has come through it well.. At 85,,knocking on 86,she is looking very well,,and it's good to see her with a wee bit of her old sense of humor..Thank you all for caring..

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Originally Posted by rspears

Robin, not to pry but wondering how things are going with your mom? Know that you've been on line some, from tracks on FB. You have several people who care here.

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No,Roger,,you aren't prying..This is the first time I have been able to get on here,for various reasons,since last week.. Mum is doing very well,thank you.. She is settling into the rest home quite well,although there has been a bit of confusion over the room,,and we inadvertantly okayed the wrong one.. oops.. Hopefully,when one becomes available on the sunny side of the complex,we can shift her into it.. When you consider,that only four weeks ago,,the hospital staff moved her into a private room,so the family could spend time with her before she passed,,she has come through it well.. At 85,,knocking on 86,she is looking very well,,and it's good to see her with a wee bit of her old sense of humor..Thank you all for caring..

Okay... type one reply,,hit the button,,and it comes out in duplicate... hmmm.....

There's an echo in here...

That's 'cause good news like you've just shared is worth saying twice!!!

Thanks for the update too...

I'm glad to hear she's doing better! Hopefully a sunny side room opens up soon and it'll help her even more! Good luck with it all!

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Originally Posted by 40FordDeluxe

I'm glad to hear she's doing better! Hopefully a sunny side room opens up soon and it'll help her even more! Good luck with it all!

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Thanks,Ryan.. going to see her over Easter weekend,and take some stuff to her to make her room a bit more like home.. Friday tomorrow.. The only thing we don't look forward to,is the batsh*t crazy fools who contaminate our highways every long weekend,and make our 4 hour journey harder..:(:(

Definitely a bad situation, Robin. I, too, have been there and done that and it's hard on everybody involved.

Please do something: Pay close attention to her physical condition when you visit her. My mother was unexpectedly (by us) hospitalized. She turned out to have very bad bed sores from neglect. We had no idea. We visited her very frequently. The place appeared to be very nice and the staff put on a good act, but .........

The next place was far better.

We're thinking about you.

Jim

Sorry to offer my support late into this thread, have been away for awhile only reading subscribed threads to keep up. Sorry to hear about your Grand ma, hope you guys have a good visit over Easter, and a safe ride there and back. Take care Robin.

Thanks,Jim,,and Steve.. Yes,Jim,,Mum would say something if she had sores,,to both,,me and the management..In no uncertain terms..;)
No probs there,Steve.. i haven't exactly been on here a lot in the last few months.. Got a lot of catch up happening,when I get back,after the weekend.. ;)

Sorry for your situation. Mine was almost the very same scenario 2 weeks ago mine left this world. She was 88 years old, so I feel your pain. But she is not in pain and suffering anymore. Her mind was still fully in tact and sharp, but her body just wore out. If I could have picked any mom it would have been her. So my thoughts are with you.

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Originally Posted by desert dog

Sorry for your situation. Mine was almost the very same scenario 2 weeks ago mine left this world. She was 88 years old, so I feel your pain. But she is not in pain and suffering anymore. Her mind was still fully in tact and sharp, but her body just wore out. If I could have picked any mom it would have been her. So my thoughts are with you.

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Ohh,man.. sorry for your loss,desert dog..You are right,bud.. She's not in pain any more.. In a better place now..Thoughts and prayers with you and the family,mate.. I thought we were gunna lose Mum,for sure,but now,,three weeks or so down the track,,is looking so much better.. Saw her yesterday,,and for a short while today,before we left for the drive home.. Sat her out in the fresh air for a while and yakked,,then wheeled her back inside,just in time for lunch..:D:D

Update time.. Mum is the best she has been in twelve months.. Saw her again on the weekend,and she has settled into the rest home very well.. We put her little home on the market,two weeks ago,,and with a fair price,too.. That was the Friday..Come Monday afternoon,,we had an offer on the table,,accepted it on Tuesday morning..Four days,,go to whoa... Awesome.. Went unconditional last Friday..Settlement 19th May..Just got to finish cleaning the place out this weekend,and she's all done.. Problem being,now,is finding homes for all of her stuff....:eek::eek: