Ya' Gotta' Be Kidding!!

We all have stories of things we've seen done on cars, driving incidents or DIY projects that didn't quite turn out the way they were supposed to for some guy or gal. A few of us may even have personal accounts that are not too embarrassing :o:o;), or that were so long ago the embarrassment has diminished to the point we're willing to share the laughs. I worked in a large engineering firm for over 30 years, and we had a guy there that was a very sharp electrical power design engineer, but his common sense application to all things mechanical was a bit challenged to say the least. Also, he was a very thrifty guy, so he very often asked in the office how he could "fix" things as opposed to hiring a repairman, and some of his antics were passed around the office to a lot of laughter and amazement at the outcomes. I'll call him "Sam", for anonymity....

Sam came into work one Monday morning and said that when he got up Saturday morning his car wouldn't start, so he started "troubleshooting" by himself, which was often a questionable approach. Dim headlights, starter solenoid "click", etc. So he called the auto parts store up the street, and they told him to bring his battery up to get it checked. Sam proceeded to pull the battery and unhook the bracket holding it in place. Now his cables had not been disconnected for several years and as he tried to loosen the clamps he pulled so hard that he actually broke the post loose inside the battery :eek: A pipe wrench to hold the clamp and vice grips on the nut finally got things loose, but the post was now flopping around pretty bad. So Sam totes the battery up to the auto store, walks in and asks them to test his battery. Of course the guy took one look and declared that the battery was junk, explaining that the post was broken from the internal plates, and that he would have to buy a new battery for about $60. Sam was shocked :eek:, and his reply was classic, often repeated because of his thrifty nature, "Oh no! Cannot be $60!! How much to fix this one??" :LOL::LOL::LOL: It took the guy a few minutes to get through to Sam that he had a broken battery could not be "fixed", and he sadly walked home with a new battery, $60 lighter in the wallet. Monday he was still convinced that the guy had "...taken advantage of him." :LOL::LOL:**)**)

Ok but this is more about the E.I. People around here that own business. Back in 94 or 95 I had just started my business and got a job at a gas station/food store. The job was to tile the floor in the whole building.We signed a contract and I started work. Now if anyof you have done business with these people you know what I'm saying. The entire place was tiled except under the shelving that had can goods and other goods on them. After a week of "We will get to it, I got a little upset as I had my money tied up in there store. One evening when there wasn't much going on in the store I brought my car floor jack to the store raised up the shelving units and finished the job. At that point we got into a big deal about how I was over charging them and the argued the point . Finely when my lawyer asked for payment plus his fees they paid. Not long after that they contacted me to do another store for them.....Not this guy.

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Originally Posted by cffisher

Ok but this is more about the East India People around here that own business. Back in 94 or 95 I had just started my business and got a job at a gas station/food store. The job was to tile the floor in the whole building.We signed a contract and I started work. Now if anyof you have done business with these people you know what I'm saying. The entire place was tiled except under the shelving that had can goods and other goods on them. After a week of "We will get to it, I got a little upset as I had my money tied up in there store. One evening when there wasn't much going on in the store I brought my car floor jacj to the store raised up the shelving units and finished the job. At that point we got into a big deal about how I was over charging them and the argued the point . Finely when my lawyer asked for payment plus his fees they paid. Not long after that they contacted me to do another store for them.....Not this guy.

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:LOL::LOL: Yeah, I can see that happening. Not wanting to "bash" any ethnic group here and I edited my first post to remove any such reference.

Like a friend in the Navy that worked at a local gas station, and was not beyond selling an accessory that wasn't truly "needed" to boost his "take" for the night. One evening a cute gal came in driving a Corvair, and while the gas was filling he polished the windshield thoroughly, smiling all the while, then went to the engine. He sold her a new radiator cap for $3, and laughed as she drove away. His smile dimmed when the Corvair pulled in just before closing, and this 6'4" Marine climbed out, asking if he was sure that the car really needed that radiator cap, to which my friend decided that maybe they should "return" the cap, plus a $2 tip!!:LOL::LOL::LOL::HMMM:

whats the differance with EAST INDIA???????????

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Originally Posted by jerry clayton

whats the differance with EAST INDIA???????????

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You're 100% right Jerry, and I went back and edited my story to remove anything about "Sam's" ethnicity. My bad, and my apology.

To the guys that were there, all very good friends with "Sam", his country of origin was moot. He was a friend and co-worker, period, but he pulled some funny stunts through the years.

Roger, I wasn't trying to be political correct, I just never associated East/West when it came to India---------where is the dividing line????or, are you referancing Pakiis? East Pakistan???now something else-Bangladesh???

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Originally Posted by jerry clayton

Roger, I wasn't trying to be political correct, I just never associated East/West when it came to India---------where is the dividing line????or, are you referancing Pakiis? East Pakistan???now something else-Bangladesh???

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I use "East Indians" to differentiate from "American Indians". Maybe that's what Roger was doing.

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Originally Posted by jerry clayton

Roger, I wasn't trying to be political correct, I just never associated East/West when it came to India---------where is the dividing line????or, are you referancing Pakiis? East Pakistan???now something else-Bangladesh???

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Right, Tech. Actually I was differentiating that my friend was from the country of India as opposed to being Native American, but I'm now sorry that I mentioned his ethnic origin at all. It adds nothing to the story, and may have tainted the whole thread with a prejudicial slant that was not intended.

Roger---I didn't and think most people wouldn't think anything along those lines---I thought maybe that you were describing his origin as east/east India---after years of flying all over, North south east west are directions to me not ethnic descriptions

A few years back, new dude moved to town with a '66 Nova, small block 4 speed car and instantly put the word out he could whoop anybody. So, naturally I had to find out. Got the old "Horse" out of the garage did a bit of cruizin' till he spotted me and came to chit chat... Settled on the wager for one run, no rerun, and went out to our version of Paradise Road. Did my burnout and waited while he did a burn THROUGH (Pro Stock style) backed up, then a dry hop PAST where I was waiting on him, so he backed up again!!! Finally got things lined up blipped his throttle half dozen more times, Joe was out front, dropped his arms......and the clown took off in reverse...... He got a bloody nose from the steering wheel and I made an easy 50 bucks!!!!!!

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Originally Posted by Dave Severson

and the clown took off in reverse...... He got a bloody nose from the steering wheel and I made an easy 50 bucks!!!!!!

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Dave, you sure that wasn't a 58 Impala and Toad was driving?

OK, one more on "Sam", but a DIY story, not cars. Sam came to work one day saying that the drain in his little wet bar sink in his basement rec room was plugged, wondering, "How to fix??" One of the guys explained to Sam that he had successfully used a garden hose with a rag to seal around the nozzle to "blast the clog free" - "Pull your garden hose into the basement, wrap the rag around the end and push it into the sink drain tightly while you have someone turn the water on full blast to build up pressure. Should blast the clog free real quick." Should work OK, and I must admit I've used that method myself a couple of times when the "plumber's helper" wouldn't do the job.

So Saturday Sam strings the hose in, gets it in place and calls to his wife to turn the water on, but not wanting to take a chance he says, "Turn it on, but not too much!" After a few minutes he can hear and feel that the water is still running - no pressure buildup - so he calls for her, "Turn off the water." Now that slow flow of water had simply filled his vent pipe more than three stories high and he had water running down the roof, into the gutter! :eek: So when Sam pulled the hose he had a geyser of water shooting up from the drain about three feet high, and I guess he was using both hands trying to stop the flow and got totally drenched!:LOL::LOL::LOL:

Sam had us rolling on the floor laughing with him Monday morning as he re-enacted the geyser scene. One of the guys felt compelled to follow Sam home that night with a plunger and drain snake to help him unclog his drain ;)

Just goes to prove life is funnier than fiction! That last one is hilarious.. I actually feel sorry for "Sam".

When I was in High School the Spanish teacher had a flat tire on his car. he got the bumper jack out and jacked the car up in front of the tire at the finder well. everyone was laughing at him about what he had done and ruined the fender. the staff called the automatic's class to come help him change the tire and we all got our laugh before helping with a floor jack. my question was how were you going to get the tire off with the jack in front of the tire. even if the jacking point did work the inner fender well and axle had it blocked on the backside, the jack on the front side. that indecent confirmed me at the time not to take Spanish which looking back I should have with the world today. I was not being racist back in the day nor today because he was not Hispanic just not not mechanically inclined or I guess didn't see the diagram/instructions in the trunk.
some of us that were there still get a good chuckle when we talk about it.

On the same note as above back in 64 my wife jacked up my 64 chevy in the rear between the bumpers at the plate..She said if I had changed the flat that wouldn't have happened...DUH! ex-wife that is.

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Originally Posted by green34ford

When I was in High School the Spanish teacher had a flat tire on his car. he got the bumper jack out and jacked the car up in front of the tire at the finder well. everyone was laughing at him about what he had done and ruined the fender. the staff called the automatic's class to come help him change the tire and we all got our laugh before helping with a floor jack. my question was how were you going to get the tire off with the jack in front of the tire. even if the jacking point did work the inner fender well and axle had it blocked on the backside, the jack on the front side. that indecent confirmed me at the time not to take Spanish which looking back I should have with the world today. I was not being racist back in the day nor today because he was not Hispanic just not not mechanically inclined or I guess didn't see the diagram/instructions in the trunk.
some of us that were there still get a good chuckle when we talk about it.

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Ah yes, reminds me of the old saying, "Those who can, do...... Those who can't, teach!!!!!:LOL::LOL::LOL:

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Originally Posted by Dave Severson

Ah yes, reminds me of the old saying, "Those who can, do...... Those who can't, teach!!!!!:LOL::LOL::LOL:

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...and those who can do neither criticize!

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Shoot! I got a whole family full of those Indian folk, both E.I. and A.I. My Bride is Cherokee and Choctaw, and our oldest son married a girl whose parents are immigrants from Delhi and Bombay. The E.I. bunch are all multi-degreed professionals; our side of the family are all trades people except for our oldest son; he broke out of the mold and went to college, and university - has multiple degrees, wears a long robe with "hash marks" on it, fancy colored scarves, and a funny hat for formal educational shindigs. Those folk are scary intelligent, but sometimes don't seem all that smart. One time at a family gathering, one of the young men surmised that this family was a good place to be if something went wrong, got broken, or if you got sick. We had three MD's, and a DMD, several "legal eagles", accountants, and stock market pros, a whole passel of engineers and scientists, a few educators, one truck driver, and an electrician/mechanic; pretty much had things covered.