Is Christmas / New Year over yet???

Hi guys and gals and happy new year to you all. As some of you may of noticed,I have been missing in action of late,sorry, but I had a reasonable good excuse.I also tried to visit here daily quickly just to keep up but without posting, yeah,another lurker I hear you all think. Well some of you may know that I am chief caregiver,( the only) for my elderly Mum, and she decided that leading up to the Christmas / New Year break would be an excellent time to have a heart attach and develop pneumonia. She also has dementia and as I have learnt over the past few weeks is that when a dementia patient becomes unwell,their brain becomes really off balance and boy,does that make things difficult. Eg. Mum would ask to have her bedroom window opened and then no sooner I had left the room Mum would get up and close it and then call out for me to open it. She all of a sudden,couldn't put herself in bed,so I would have to help her and again,no sooner walk out the room ,she would be up sitting on the side of the bed. Anyway,to cut a long story short,after three visits to her Doctor ,doc realised that something wasn't right and after some tests,had Mum rushed to hospital in an ambulance where she was to stay until the 4th January and then be transferred to our little hospital here in Pukekohe for respite care but this battle axe nurse decided that Mum could go home on Monday and even sent her home with me in her hospital gown and bare feet.So as you can see,I would like to get everything back on track and settle both Mum and I down to a routine again which we are both happy with. Cheers for now,Whip....

Glad to here you are doing ok and lurking around!
You my friend are a Saint! Both my wife's grandmother's and 1 grandfather had it and now her dad has it. As you already know, it is a terrible disease to live around. I wish you all the best in dealing with your Mum. You just have to remember, it's not her trying to make life difficult, it's the disease. Keep your chin up, you can always come here for a shoulder to lean on.

Keith

Thanks Keith,but I'm sorry,I'm far for being a saint as I lose my cool and don't mean too and then beat myself up for raising my voice with Mum. I am still working on my faults but heck, I'm a sinner from way back.:HMMM:

Keep fighting the good fight Whip, the right thing to do is always the toughest!

Whip - good on you. I went through a short period of it with my mom but she passed on fairly quickly from other causes and at a fairly young age. Now my wife is going through it with hers who has just turned 97. She has the constitution of a horse - absolutely nothing wrong with her except she has no mind left to speak of.

Just keep checking in and if you have a few moments, post.

Whip,
I went through some of the same issues with my Mom, and in hindsight with my Dad, too but his dimentia was not diagnosed as being "significant" until he passed, and then was listed as a cause of death. Being the caregiver for a person with dimentia can wear a person down in ways that are not obvious to others, even people in the medical profession, and it sounds like you found one of those "uninformed professionals" in the battleax nurse that sent your Mum home early. I would hope that there are some options in your regional system that can provide some help to caregivers, maybe in the form of some limited home care that at least gives you a break from the 24/7 grind of front line care. If possible I would recommend that you try to find some form of Assisted Living care that specializes in dimentia patients. Trying to do it alone is a very tough road to walk. Like Dave says, keep checking in, and post when you can. We enjoy having you here when you can be here.

As Roger has said, check on additional help and if you have an assisted living/nursing home that specializes in it, by all means take advantage of it. I have gone on searches for parishioners who just disappear because they forgot their way home. I had one who lost over $80,000 because they trusted some piece of scum. I know of one who would forget where he parked his car so would go buy another beater. Most caregivers cannot be around 24/7 and that is what they need.

Hang in there, take care of yourself and check in when you can.

God bless you Whip----many people would just pretend the "problem" of taking care of Mom is not theirs and drop her off with some state agency.....

I am headed to my moms today to check on her. She is 87 and developed mitral valve regurgitation the end of Sept. and has no energy (due to the lack of oxygen) or short term memory. You can have a fair conversation with her but she wont remember you had it 3 minutes after. She still will beat the heck out of me playing gin! Her long term memory is still great. Her GP has told her that her heart is wearing out! She has beat cancer four times since 1971 and is the last of seven sisters. It is terrible when one of the pillars of your life starts to crumble. I know what Whip means with having patience. Hang in there Whip!

Thank you guys for your words of encouragement as I really appreciate them. I have somebody coming out from the Needs Assessment Department of the Hospital Board early next week to find out what we are entitled to in the way of help. Funnily enough,I was the one in tears and shock when the Doctor organised Mum's admission to hospital and Mum was calm as. Heck I did miss her being here and really looked forward to her coming home but was a bit naive thinking I would have my pre-sickness Mum home again so it has been another learning curve for me. Rant time: my sister arrived in the other day for lunch,she stayed all day and drunk wine,her large Husky dog made one heck of a mess on the carpet,there was laundry that could of been folded and put away,but no offer to help and when she decided it was home time, she couldn't even bother carrying her wine glass to the kitchen or placing her empty wine bottle in the recycling bin outside. Ain't family fun at times?:CRY:

Just left my ma's (she's 85) she is taking down her Christmas decorations and needed her boxs to put it all away(very independent)... I keep them here she has no room. being the oldest of 8 (5 still here) I get all the calls and can you do this stuff. I don't mind she still drives and gets around good but I have 1 brother who invited her to go live with him....He took her for all she had then sent her packing. You only get one mother got to take care of the one that brought you into this world. So Whip your the good son just keep doing what you can and pray the Lord will provide

Add me to the list, Whip.

Your mother's situation sounds very much the same as that of my mother, and at exactly the same age. Fortunately I had two brothers to help with the required time and expense.

She was quite a character. She's been gone about ten years now. Jane says she can tell when I'm thinking about Mom because I get a silly grin on mug. She was one to "tell it like it is" regardless of what "is" was.

........And how's that for a goofy sounding sentence?

If there is a good thing to be said about dementia, or Alzheimer's, or whatever, it is that the person who is afflicted is usually not suffering.

That, unfortunately, is for the family.

Hang in there,

Jim

whip i am so sorry to hear of your troubles with your mom and family. just know that my thoughts and love are with you and yours.

Thank you so much people,each and every one of you are so special to not only me, but our Lord above. Had the Homecare lady here today and now will have a lady come in three times a week to help shower and dress Mum which doesn't sound like much but I am so thankful for the help and it was one area I wasn't 100% comfortable with.
Charlie, I have prayed so much to our Lord,I started to think he was getting tired of me asking for more patience with Mum, but He has helped me alot through this past threw weeks and I feel blessed that I can talk to Him not only in times of need but when everything is going well. Again thank you folks.

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Originally Posted by Whiplash23T

Thank you guys for your words of encouragement as I really appreciate them. I have somebody coming out from the Needs Assessment Department of the Hospital Board early next week to find out what we are entitled to in the way of help. Funnily enough,I was the one in tears and shock when the Doctor organised Mum's admission to hospital and Mum was calm as. Heck I did miss her being here and really looked forward to her coming home but was a bit naive thinking I would have my pre-sickness Mum home again so it has been another learning curve for me. Rant time: my sister arrived in the other day for lunch,she stayed all day and drunk wine,her large Husky dog made one heck of a mess on the carpet,there was laundry that could of been folded and put away,but no offer to help and when she decided it was home time, she couldn't even bother carrying her wine glass to the kitchen or placing her empty wine bottle in the recycling bin outside. Ain't family fun at times?:CRY:

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Wait a minute, Whip!! I'm confused. It sounds to me like my sister paid you a visit!! Apparently God forgot to break the mold??:CRY:;)**)

Whip just tunning in here. Sorry to hear about the dementia. My great Aunt had it for the last 3 years of her life. It took it's toll on everyone. I know how you feel missing your mom when she was in the hospital. My mom passed 15 years ago from cancer. We were able to keep her home, and take care of her until she passed. I'll never regret one minute of that time. Good for you sticking with her.

Whip,mate..just saw this myself..Thats not good for you,to have to do all the work..Knew ya had a brother,but didnt know about the sister..Does she live close?? Its a pity she couldnt come and help spread the load a little bit..I hope your home help is going to work out for you..You need it..Went up to see my mum for Christmas..Coming up 83,and still moves around on her own broom,,,ahh,,,(family joke) sorry,,:D:D Her mum passed at 91,so I guess mum has a few years yet..:cool: Keep up the prayers,Whip..We all will..

Thanks again and Roger, it isn't funny much when your own family are like that, but it is a sign of the "I am It " world we live in. Robin, my sister lives approximately 15 minutes from here but she believes she has done her bit for Mum years ago. I have 2 brothers,1 in Invercargill , the other in England,( the most supportive) and another sister in Dunedin. I have more then shed my problems with God and,you know, He never tires from hearing from me and heck, He is a Lord of Love with a excellent sense of humour.

Hey Whip, if they'd ever get that dang bridge built I could just drive down there and help ya!!! Betcha the girls could get her even more confused!!!!!!!!!:LOL::LOL::LOL:Guess I'd forgotten how many questions they have at that age!!!!! Hope you get some help, man!!! I know how trying that can be. Praying for ya!!!!

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Originally Posted by Whiplash23T

Thanks again and Roger, it isn't funny much when your own family are like that, but it is a sign of the "I am It " world we live in. Robin, my sister lives approximately 15 minutes from here but she believes she has done her bit for Mum years ago. I have 2 brothers,1 in Invercargill , the other in England,( the most supportive) and another sister in Dunedin. I have more then shed my problems with God and,you know, He never tires from hearing from me and heck, He is a Lord of Love with a excellent sense of humour.

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Indeed he is, Whip. I'm convinced that God has a very active sense of humor, but also that He has total and unconditional love for us. I won't bore you with the tales of my sister's approach to mom & dad's needs, only that there were only the two of us and she stayed 700miles away except for annual or semi-annual visits that were limited to part of a weekend even though she was retired.
Hang in there, and keep us in the loop as you're comfortable with it. You've got a lot of support and prayers from this place, and prayers from others are powerful, powerful tools.

Hey Dave,it would be an honour to have you and those two little angels down here and heck Mum would be pleased with the company also our gold version of Pepper, Nelson. I have good friends that foster children and they have a 5 year old that the parents shock when a newborn baby, that both Mum and Nelson love when they visit. I too am waiting patiently for that bridge to be build as I have so many friends that I wish to meet face to face in this small world we live in.

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Originally Posted by Whiplash23T

Hey Dave,it would be an honour to have you and those two little angels down here and heck Mum would be pleased with the company also our gold version of Pepper, Nelson. I have good friends that foster children and they have a 5 year old that the parents shock when a newborn baby, that both Mum and Nelson love when they visit. I too am waiting patiently for that bridge to be build as I have so many friends that I wish to meet face to face in this small world we live in.

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I reckon there are enough people who dont want to work,in both countries..Why dont our governments implement a current version of ''Bridge over the river Kwai''and start the project..:D:D 'Work,or swim with da fishes.':LOL::LOL:...

Seems like a heck of a plan for me!!! Heck if we're going to have earmarked spending, let's do it right!!!! Betcha that nasty old unemployment # would just keep getting lower!!!!!!

Unemployment number going lower ? "Remember liars can figure and figures can lie." We do not have a clue what are the real numbers the feds are lying.

Glad to see you back, Whip. Mom's lucky to have a son like you; prayer headed your way for both of you, brother.

Thanks guys, on a funny side of things now, the brain is certainly a strange object, Mum has come home from hospital with an idea that she doesn't wear glasses and is always removing hers. I have had to show her photo's of her to prove she does but that appears not to be enough to persuade her to keep her glasses on. And I thought it was bad enough looking at her without her false teeth in but Mum without glasses is totally new to me.:)