Truck for Sale Description
Saw this posted over on the Studebaker Forum
Couple of friends were getting ready to put a Studebaker truck up for sale on EBay. One asked the other to write a description for the truck to include in the ad. Giving it to his friend John with a totally straight face, this is what Sal came up with:
"My driving impressions on the Truck.
I'm not even sure why Studebaker even bothered to make a truck in the first place. What a design catastrophe. It looks like an ugly station wagon dragging its own square coffin. The ride is like tumbling down a rocky slope with flat tires. The interior is as stark and dry as my great aunts humor. (and she died miserable and alone). The paint appears to have been spilled over an acne infested beehive. The smoothest body panel is the one that only got hit once.
The bubbles in the glass look to have roaches nesting between the sheets. The steering feels like two trolls having a wrestling match with each of the front wheels while a wicked nor'easter is blowing across the bow.
It stops fine as long as a tree is nearby, but a hedgerow is preferable when a restart is needed. The backfiring only occurs while its running, and that's only 30% of the time. Since there's only a 20% chance of it even starting in the first place, the backfiring is actually quite minimal.
I was going to mention the exhaust system, but we lost that with the first belch of backfires. Its somewhere on Hwy 80 if the buyer wants to retrieve it. The floors were cancer'ed out, but the frame was saved. A previous owner welded water pipe in place of the frame rails and cross members where needed. Good thing, as its the only good metal holding up whats left of the body.
The wiring is OK once the horn stops honking. A small electrical fire has fried the alternator, but at least the left blinker stays on. The water pump is clanging like a bell, but the rotted freeze plugs don't keep water in the engine anyway. The rod knock can only be heard while the engine is running.
Other than the above mentioned items, I can only say that the new owner will be very pleased with his new purchase. I've enjoyed it immensely."
