Ways To Piss Off A Cop When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"
When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
When he says no, cry.
If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
Bribe him with donuts.
When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
Chew on the pen, nervously.
Clean your ear with the pen.
If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
When he comes up to your car, say I have a badge just like yours!
Ask if he watches Cops.
Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
Giggle if he did.
Talk to your hand.
Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol on my car, sir, the last cop got it.
Try to sell him your car.
Ask if you can buy his car.
If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front and Play with the siren.
If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
Ask if you can see his gun.
When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.